


If I tell you about my past, will you still be my future?

by Queerfeministdork



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck and TK are Best Friends, Depressed Buck, Healing, Jealous Eddie, Listen people are healing and being a little stupid along the way, M/M, Maddie Buckley loves her not quite brother in law, Post Lawsuit, Slow Burn, Smart!Buck, TK and Buck are besties and exes, Talks of past addiction, lots of mutual pining, no one will convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28373715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerfeministdork/pseuds/Queerfeministdork
Summary: Buck was fine, not sleeping, the migraines, and keeping things from everyone. It was, well it was fine. He had it handled. He didn't need to open his mouth and risk exhausting anyone again.TK was worried, texts at all hours of the night, and Evan wasn't really talking to him anymore. Not the way he should have been, not really confiding in his best friend. So when Maddie said she was concerned as well, of course he was on the first plane out to LA.Of course mixing a stranger from his past, showing up full of real concern about him, probably wasn't the best way for Buck to keep convincing his family everything was fine. But then again he never could deny Tyler much. It was only a week, he would talk about his feelings and things would go back to normal, right?
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley & TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/TK Strand (past)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 431





	1. Strangers, truth, and house visits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I have been holding onto this fic for the last oh lord, maybe 8 months? I wrote the first half of the fic in a few days, and I am now determined to at least start posting it before Buck Begins so I have plausible deniability on however I chose to write things.  
> Please please please enjoy! I love the idea of a Buck/TK friendship and I am so excited for the crossover.

Buck was tired, his head was pounding and he just wanted the last hour of his shift to get by so he could go home and sleep. Everytime someone tried asking if he was okay he would smile and say he was just tired. But it was more than that, he was exhausted. He hadn’t been sleeping, running every night to burn off the energy that seemed to build up and keep him awake. He was hardly sleeping anymore, but he knew if he told the team they would just think he wasn’t up to the job and bench him again and he wasn’t willing to risk that. He was handling it, everything was fine. 

“Ugh, I cannot wait for these next three days off. It has been a long time coming, Karen is so excited to just relax. We’re getting ice cream with Denny tonight, what are you guys doing?” Hen asked plopping down on the couch next to him. 

“Maddie and I have dinner plans, probably going to catch a movie.” 

“Family game night with Michael. You’re welcome to come Buck.” Bobby said with a smile in his direction. 

“Ah maybe, think I need to take a nap when I get home first.” He said with a shrug. He didn’t think he needed one, he knew. 

“Well just text us and let us know.” He said, eyeing Buck as if trying to see if there was a symptom he may have been missing. 

“I’m taking Chris to Abuelas for dinner. Buck you’ll have to come over soon, she’s been talking about missing you. So has Chris.” Eddie said and Buck smiled trying to pretend it didn’t make his head hurt more. 

“Of course, I always miss that little dude. Just let me know when. How did his school-” 

Buck was cut off by a new voice entering the station coming up the loft stairs. “Evan Parker Buckly!” Buck jumped up at the sound of his full name coming to face one of his closest friends. 

Behind him he heard the team muttering in confusion. “Parker?” Hen and Chim asked each other, as Eddie was muttering “He let’s this dude call him Evan?” to Bobby. 

“Tyler Kennedy Strand!” Buck yelled, pulling his friend into a tight hug. “Man what the hell are you doing all the way in LA. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” 

“Because I know your stubborn ass would have told me you were fine and not to come. Which is bullshit so don’t even bother saying otherwise.” Tyler pulled back giving him a serious look and he hoped the team wasn’t listening in, but he of course knew that wasn’t the case. 

“We will talk about this later. Where is your stuff? How long are you staying?” Buck asked as they took the few steps to the team who were staring at them waiting for an introduction. 

“It’s at your place. Maddie picked me up from the airport and she used her key to get in so we could drop it off. I figured I’d be able to stay with you?” 

“You planned this with Maddie?” Buck asked, offended. He shook his head slightly. “You know what. We’ll deal with that later, obviously you’re staying at mine. How long are you staying?” 

“A week.” Buck nodded and slung an arm around his shoulders dragging him the final step to meet the team. 

“Guys this is TK. Wait man are you still going by that?” Buck asked and Tyler laughed and nodded. “Yes, this is TK. Tyler this is Hen, Chimney, Bobby, and Eddie.” He said pointing to each of them. 

Bobby seemed to break out of the shock at the stranger in the house first coming up for a handshake. “It’s great to meet you.” He said and Tyler nodded. 

“Likewise, I’ve heard so many great things about all of you.” 

“That’s weird because we’ve never heard anything about you.” Eddie said pointedly, crossing his arms across his chest, and Hen kicked him. Buck tried catching his eyes but Eddie just looked away. 

“Eh, that’s not shocking. Evan never did like sharing.” Tyler said with a wink in his direction, and Buck flushed red. 

“Oh you two,” Chim said and Hen shot him a look. 

“I talked about him. You’ve all heard about my ex from my time in college.” Buck said and they all exchanged looks. 

“Oh, well I guess we just didn’t realize that your ex was a uh.” Chim started awkwardly. 

“What Chim is saying is we didn’t know you were bisexual. If that is the label you use.” Hen said and Tyler went stiff under his arm. 

He leaned up and whispered in his ear “Ev you know I didn’t mean to out you right, that I would never.” 

“Of course I know that. This isn’t on you. You didn’t know,” he murmured before getting louder. He refused to feel awkward about it. He was an adult, he could handle coming out to his closest friends. “I do use bisexual, and it wasn’t meant to be some kind of secret. I don’t know. Just with all the Buck 1.0 stuff, you guys never noticed the men I hooked up with. And there is already such a stigma about the bi community I didn’t want to add that to my reputation. And then with Abby, and Ali it never came up, I just figured I’d come out when it was relevant.” He felt Tyler squeeze his arm tighter around his waist in a show of support. 

Eddie was staring at him intently before moving his stare down to where Tyler was holding onto him. Buck tried not to feel awkward waiting for someone to say something when finally Bobby spoke up. 

“Obviously this doesn’t change anything for us. We all still love and support you, and we’re glad you’re comfortable with us. Buck why don’t you get out of here, we’ve got less than an hour, and you have company.” Buck smiled and nodded. 

“Thanks. Alright, I’ll see you guys in two days. Ty, do you mind staying here so I can get my stuff and change?” Buck asked and Tyler laughed and nodded. 

“Yeah, get out of here. I’ll get to know your team.” Buck let go of him, but before he could run down the stairs he was being wrapped in a hug by Hen. 

“I’m always here for you Buckaroo.” He smiled and hugged her tightly before jogging down the stairs. 

+++

Eddie couldn’t help but stare after Buck as he descended the staircase before fixing his friend, TK with a probably dirty look. He couldn’t help it, all this time he had been thinking he was Buck’s best friend. That they knew almost everything about each other now, but all of a sudden there was this stranger here that he knew nothing about.  _ That’s not true,  _ his mind supplied.  _ Buck told you about his ex in college. A lot about that ex, and how they kept in contact. He just neglected to mention that his ex was a man.  _

“So TK, it was nice of you to come out here to see Buck, where are you from?” Hen asked politely. Eddie tried not to laugh, at the obvious start to the interrogation. 

TK took a seat on the edge of the table in front of the couch. “I’m from New York. But I came from Texas. I moved there to help rebuild the 126 after the explosion.” He said it with a sad smile and Eddie hated it. 

“Oh man, I saw that on the news, wasn’t there only like one survivor?” Chim asked. 

“Yeah, it’s tragic. And yeah Judd, he’s an awesome dude. He’s recovering pretty well from it. We’re all trying to be there for him the best we can. My dad’s helping as much as he can, he went through the same thing. Losing his whole house on 9/11.” TK told them all, Eddie clenched his fist and he looked at the defense squad go away, and they all seemed to accept this kid. 

“I know Judd.” Eddie said, and he wasn’t even sure why. He didn’t want any part of this conversation. 

“Oh, that’s awesome, he said he knew someone in the LAFD. It’s kind of funny that he and I both know people in the same house. How do you know him?” TK asked with an easy smile. 

“My training, I did it when I lived back home in Texas. Met him through all of that. He’s a cool guy.” He clenched his jaw shut after he finished, determined not to say more. Bobby shot him a look, one that Eddie knew meant he was getting spoken to later before picking up the conversation again. 

“So TK, what brings you all the way out to LA? Buck seemed pretty surprised to see you.” Bobby said. Finally TK lost the easy going look, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and looked down the stairs as if he wanted Buck to come to come rescue him. 

“After everything that happened, with the firetruck, and then the tsunami. I guess I just needed to see with my own two eyes that Evan was okay. And I know he’ll feel less bad that I dragged myself here from Texas than if I did from New York.” He shrugged, and they could all tell that wasn’t the full story. But it felt less like TK was hiding something and more like Buck was. 

“So you know Maddie?” Chim asked, in an attempt to change the subject. 

“Yeah, she was kind of Evan’s ‘meet the family’ stage in our relationship. Obviously it wasn’t his parents. Plus, she helped him bail my ass out of trouble more than once.” Eddie clenched his jaw tighter, his dentist was going to be thrilled.  _ Obviously?  _ Buck never talked about his family, but here this guy was just assuming that everything he was saying was common knowledge. It should have been a comfort, that he thought Buck trusted them. But it really just hurt more, that he clearly didn’t if they knew nothing. 

Hen shot him a look. “Wow, you and Buck must have been pretty serious then?” She asked and TK nodded. 

“Yeah, we were.” There was a tone in his voice Eddie couldn’t place. It went soft, and there was something not quite like regret. Everyone shared a look as the kid looked down at the floor. 

“What happened then?” Eddie asked sharply. 

TK opened his mouth to reply as Buck ran up the stairs. “Hey, you ready to go Ty?” He was openly beaming at the man and Eddie felt his gut twist. Were they going to get back together? 

“Yeah, let’s go. Thank you Bobby, for letting him off early. I apologize for showing up unannounced.” He said, the picture of perfect politeness. 

Bobby waved him off. “Nonsense, any friend of Buck’s is always welcome.” With that Buck grabbed TK’s hand, giving off goodbyes and then dragging him off. 

The second they were out of earshot Hen spoke up. “Am I the only one who feels like we’re missing something?” She asked. 

“No we’re definitely missing something. Am I the only one who kind of feels like an asshole for not knowing Buck was bi?” Chim asked. 

“I’m starting to think there’s a lot about Buck we just don’t know. That dude seemed pretty worried about him. I mean to take a flight all the way up here. Did Maddie mention anything to you?” Hen asked Chim, who shook his head no. 

“So what if he wants to keep secrets. That’s what he does, he doesn’t care about other people. He just does what he wants.” Eddie said harshly. He didn’t mean it, and he was glad Buck wasn’t around to hear the words leave his mouth. 

“Eddie, you know that isn’t fair to say. People are allowed to come out on their own timelines.” Hen said.

“Eddie I know you might be hurt that he didn’t share everything with you. But he’s allowed to have concerns about the way stuff like this will affect him.” Bobby said and he sighed heavily. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just. Who the hell is that kid, showing up out of nowhere. All of a sudden he knows Buck better than any of us and we didn’t know he even existed.” Eddie said, clenching his fist again getting the urge to hit something. 

“I think this is less that Buck didn’t tell you, and more that you’re jealous.” Hen said and he scoffed. 

“Of what?” 

“That Buck has another best friend. When you thought that was your slot.” 

“I mean, I think they’re a different type of best friend. Did you see the way TK looked when he was talking about Buck? They were pretty serious man. I wonder what happened with that.” Chim asked and Eddie shrugged. 

He didn’t need to be jealous right? Buck was still his best friend, and he was allowed to have other friends.  _ His other friends never looked at him like that though. His other friends never had a claim to him like that before, never were able to say they were in love before.  _ Eddie tamped it down, it was stupid. His feelings for Buck didn’t matter. He had spent so long telling himself Buck was straight, that they had a good friendship and he shouldn’t wreck that. But now, Buck wasn’t straight, and he had someone from his past. Eddie knew he would come up second best, Buck had never shown an interest in him before, why would he now with his past laid at his feet. 

He got up and stormed to the weight room ignoring the voices calling after him. He had to get out of his own head, and he wasn’t going to be able to do that listening to everyone analyze the Buck and TK situation. 

+++

The second they were buckled up and in the car, Buck finally let out a heavy sigh, resting his head on the steering wheel before pulling out of the lot. “Evan?”  
“Sorry, my head hurts. Ty, I’m so happy to see you, you know that I am. But honestly love, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you say you were coming? I could have taken time off work for this?” He tilted his head and he saw Tyler frowning at him. 

“Can you honestly tell me that you’re fine Evan?” Buck went to reply, the words I’m fine on the tip of his tongue. Tyler must have seen it in his face because he continued. “You’re getting migraines again clearly. You aren’t sleeping, which I know because you’re texting me at all hours of the day even when you aren’t on shift. You went through two traumas Ev, and you hardly talk about them. And it’s fine you don’t need to talk about everything with me if you don’t want to anymore. If I’m not your person for that, but are you talking to anyone?” 

“I don’t know if therapy could work for me after what happened last time.” Buck admitted quietly. 

“It doesn’t have to be therapy. It could be me, or Maddie. Or that guy you’re clearly crushing on in your house. But I know for a fact that it isn’t me or Maddie.” Tyler told him and he took his head off the steering wheel. 

“So what you and Maddie are keeping tabs on me behind my back now? Planning secret trips?” He asked, feeling anger starting to rise up. It wasn’t justified he knew that, but it still hurt.

“I think if anyone in this car, could be mad about someone going behind the others back to their family, it isn’t you.” Tyler reminded him. “I’m not mad about that, and I’ll never be. You saved my life more times than I can count Ev. Let me do the same for you.” 

“I wouldn’t have told you not to come.” 

“Yes you would have, you would have made up some shit about how you couldn’t get time off work, or you weren’t at your best or blah blah. I know you.” 

Buck turned on the car and grabbed Tyler’s hand. “No I wouldn’t have. Because you’re forgetting the most basic part, the thing you always forget. I’ll always make time for you.” 

“I always did forget that huh?” 

“Eh it’s okay we love you anyways.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come up when your surgery happened. I wanted to.” 

“The care package you and dad sent was more than enough. Besides, we facetimed all the time. Stop being guilty. You’re here now. Even if I’m not able to get time off work because you’re a butt who’s too worried about me.” 

“Hey, not just me. Maddie was in on this.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t remind me, or I’ll have to be annoyed at both of you. Tell me about your guy. That cop you like?” Buck looked over as Tyler flushed. “Oh wow you really like him.” He teased. 

Tyler moved his hand spreading his hand out flat on his thigh playing with Buck’s fingers the way he always did when he was nervous. “Yeah, he’s great. And he treats me better than Alex ever did. I don’t know, it’s good. I kind of flipped out on him that once, and I don’t know I feel like I keep doing it. Like I keep managing to push him away because I feel he could be doing better than me or something?” 

“Why would you think you aren't good enough for this guy? Has he ever said anything to make it sound like you're not the person he wants?” 

“He’s just so good. Plus he’s a cop, a very law abiding citizen and I’m a recovering addict. He’s so good about it, about everything really. But it’s like,” he trailed off like he was unsure of where he was going with his thoughts. 

“Subconsciously you feel like you don’t deserve him.” Buck guessed and Tyler sighed. 

“I’m guessing you know the feeling?” 

“What a pair we make.” 

They were silent for a few minutes, Tyler still playing with his hand before the motions stilled. “So I don’t think Eddie liked me very much.” He said and Buck rolled his eyes. 

“He doesn’t like anyone much when he first meets them. He didn’t like me when we first met. I’ll bring you around them this week, and he’ll cool it with the macho man act.” 

“I don’t know Ev, I don’t think the reasons he disliked me are the reasons he disliked you.” He said laughing lightly. As if he knew something Buck didn’t. 

“What does that mean?” 

“I mean the dude was glaring daggers at me the second I put my arm around you. Also thought he was ready to kill me the second we said we were exes.” 

“He doesn’t like me like that.” 

“I don’t know man.” 

“He’s straight.” 

“Up until 20 minutes ago, that’s apparently what they thought of you too. Which again I’m sorry for. I really didn’t know you weren’t out to them.” Tyler said lacing their fingers together again. 

“It really wasn’t supposed to be a secret. Then I don’t know, it felt weird. The idea of coming out to them after years of them thinking one thing about me, and I didn’t want them to think I was doing it because of Eddie. It wasn’t like I never talked about you either, hell I’m sure at some points I used your name. They just assumed something about me, and it felt strange to correct them, like I was lying to them before or something.” Buck frowned, pulling into his parking lot finally. 

“Well, you get a whole week of your best friend in the entire world. Even if you have to work for part of it. Maddie agreed to Buckley movie night tomorrow. I am the guest of honor so I shall be picking the movies.” 

“You always somehow end up picking the movies.” Buck pointed out. He got out of the car walking around opening the door for Tyler. 

“That is because you two are weirdos with absolutely no taste. And it is my job to enlighten you.” He said with a wink. 

“I mean, I had those months on my couch. I actually watched some pretty good movies then. I’ve finally seen most of the Disney classics with Eddie and Christopher. Plus Chim has been going to see new releases with Maddie. We might finally be on even ground Strand.” 

“Well, when you come down to Texas and invade a Strand movie night and become the guest of honor you can prove it then.” 

“You act like I won’t do it. Dad loves me, he always wants to see me. Speaking of how is he doing?” 

“Treatment is going well. He’s doing pretty good honestly. Sometimes I feel like he isn’t always telling me everything because he’s afraid I’m going to break down. Especially since it took him so long to tell me in the first place.” 

Buck unlocked the door letting them into his place. “He still feels bad about that. He talks about it with me. And he doesn’t think you’re weak Ty. None of us do.” 

“So how are we doing this then?” Tyler asked looking up at the loft, and then the couch and Buck burst out laughing. 

“If you think you’re sleeping anywhere but in that bed with me, you’ve lost your damn mind Tyler. I have not had a proper cuddle session in ages and now I get a week of it.” Tyler looked at him unsure. “Unless you don’t want to. I’m not trying to pressure you-” 

Tyler stepped into his space giving him a tight hug. Buck rested his chin on the top of his head squeezing back. “No, I want that. I just forget sometimes, how great it is to have time with you.” 

“Yeah, it has been a while. I’m serious about coming down though. I’ll look into taking time off work, I want to see dad with everything that’s going on. Plus I’ll never say no to spending more time with you.” They just held onto each other for a few minutes until Buck’s phone started to buzz. 

He pulled it out of his pocket to see Maddie’s name flashing across the screen. Tyler pulled back and nodded that he should take it walking over to the couch to sit. 

“Maddie, what a surprise.” He answered. 

“Listen, I’m sorry that TK and I went behind your back. But I mean aren’t you excited to see him?” She started and he laughed. 

“Wow, no hello?”

“So you aren’t mad?”

“No, I’m kind of mad. Is mad even the right word? I’m hurt? I don’t know. We’ll talk about it at Buckely movie night. Have fun on your date with Chim, Mads. Don’t worry about Tyler and I. I love you both for being concerned and I’m more happy to have him here than I am upset about the reasons.” 

“Good. I love you too Evan. I’ll see you both tomorrow okay?” 

“Bye Mads.” He hung up and walked over to the couch plopping down half onto Tyler's lap. 

“That was quick, I was expecting more screaming and yelling honestly.” Tyler said and Buck shrugged. 

“There is time for that tomorrow. Besides after Doug, I don’t know. Maddie and I don’t fight about the little stuff as much anymore. So come on, you came all the way out here in secret. Lay the rest of it out onto me. Be my best friend. Ask all the questions your heart desires.” 

“You know this isn’t an interrogation right?” Tyler asked and Buck shrugged. 

“I don’t know, you came all this way. Kind of feels like an intervention.” He admitted. 

“Alright fine. How about this, let’s pick back up our game of truth.” Tyler suggested and Buck moved off of him to catch his eyes. 

“What set of rules? Drinking and smoking rules are obviously off the table. We’ve only got one other set and I really don’t think we even have a way to make new ones.” Buck warned him but Tyler shrugged. 

“Guess you should just be inclined to tell the truth then.” 

“Tyler, what about Carlos? I’m not starting this game with you if-” 

“Carlos and I aren’t official. I honestly don’t even know what we are. I’m fine with the old rules if you are.” Buck stared at him. “I’ll follow them if you do.” Tyler told him again, a little quieter but his voice was steady and certain. 

“Alright deal. Game of truth, old rules apply. You start.” Buck told him seriously, turning his body on the couch so they were facing each other. Tyler did the same, leaving an open space between them, but it didn’t feel awkward the way it did sometimes with Eddie. Like he was wishing for someone to move. With this there was still anticipation but there was familiarity, he knew what was going to happen, what could happen if he let it. 

“Truth, would you have actually let me come up to check on you?” Tyler asked and Buck shrugged. 

“I wanna say yes. I always want to see you Tyler, but if I knew you and Maddie were worried like this I probably would have hesitated. If you just said you wanted to see me I would have taken time off in a heartbeat.” Buck told him and Tyler frowned. 

“Sorry we went behind your back then.” 

“It doesn’t matter, you’re here now. Truth, why didn’t you call me after everything happened with Alex?” 

“He was my first real, sober relationship after you. I just wanted to prove I could do it. Then I failed, dad never liked him. It wasn’t like he was pushing for you and I to get back together, but he would point out the way Alex treated me sometimes. How you would never do those things to me. I just felt like I don’t know, like no one would get it, like I was alone in it. I didn’t mean to overdose when I did it. I just meant to take the edge off and call you honestly. It just went too far.” Tyler leaned forward and placed his hand on Buck’s knee. “Thank you for calling dad, making him come check on me. I don’t think I’ve said that yet.” 

“I’m always gonna be there Tyler. I know I gave you shit for going to Maddie when I’ve gone to your dad multiple times. It’s because I love you, you know that right?” 

“I know, which is why you know I did it because I love you too. My turn. Truth, why aren’t you talking to Maddie about all of this?” 

“She’s dating one of the guys in my house. She never means to but she’s always been an accidental gossip. She knows when to keep the secrets that matter, but she would just think she’s helping by mentioning something to Chim, and then my whole house would know. I don’t want them all to know. I can handle it, I don’t need to get benched again.” 

“Then why- nevermind. Not my turn again. Maddie’s just worried about you Ev, I’m sure if you asked her to keep it a secret then she would.” 

“I don’t want to ask her too. She would think somethings really wrong, and nothing is really that bad. Truth, is all the stuff your dad said the reason you never wanted me to meet Alex?” Tyler sighed and leaned back on the couch. 

“I know I joked earlier that you don’t like to share, but the truth is I guess I don’t either. Alex was always pretty jealous, which is wild coming from a guy that was cheating on me. I didn’t want you to come meet him, and for us to have to change what we have. I love what we have, and I don't want to lose that. Besides, he clearly wasn’t the one, and I guess a part of me knew it back then too.” He sat back up after Buck didn’t say anything for a beat. 

“I don’t want to lose us either.” Buck admitted quietly. 

“Truth, if you didn’t feel like you could go to Maddie. Why didn’t you come to me?” Tyler asked him, he sounded hurt. 

It was Buck’s turn to look at the ceiling. The desire to just not answer, and call upon the ‘punishment’ for refusing a truth was there, but he knew it hurt Tyler and that wasn’t fair. He also knew it would only hurt him more if Buck chose to get on his knees rather than give him an answer for such a simple question. 

“It just felt like if I opened my mouth to tell you about it, that I was admitting defeat. That I was saying I was too weak to handle all of this, and even though I knew telling you, it wouldn’t make it back to my team in any way at all. It would feel like the second it was out there and I wasn’t getting help or something that I was actually lying to them. And if I’m being completely honest I really didn’t want to tell you about the binge drinking I did when I was recovering from the nightmares the tsunami brought me.” 

“Evan,” he heard Tyler whisper. 

“You are the last person I want to put that stuff on. Not because I think you’re weak, but because you’re so strong. It’s not like I can say I don’t have a past with drugs and alcohol. But I still go out and get drunk when it gets too much. You don’t, and I admire that so much Tyler. I just wish I was able to do it too.” 

He felt the weight on the couch shifting and then Tyler was kneeling on the couch cushion he was on gripping his face. “Listen to me, yes you have a history. And I am so goddamn sorry for that. But you are strong enough to know when to stop, and that is nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Buck put his hands over the ones on his face resting his forehead against Tyler's. “Truth, are you being safe in Austin?” 

Tyler pulled back slightly. “I got in a bar fight, no drinking or anything. Just good old fashioned adrenaline chasing. Carlos actually processed me. It was awkward to say the least, we went on a sort of date. Things with him are just, they feel like they don’t move forward. It seems like he wants to go at my pace because I’ve proven to be this crazy person, which I appreciate. But I don’t know what’s holding me back from just going for it. My therapist doesn’t think it’s Alex, because we talked about the engagement.” 

Buck looked at Tyler. He wasn’t stupid he could read between the lines, and he could relate as well. “It’s your question.” Buck said, unsure of what to say to that information. 

“Truth, what are you doing at night when you aren’t sleeping? You’ve been texting me at crazy hours.” 

“I started running. I don’t know why, it just kind of worked to exhaust me. I don’t get laid anymore, and I figured that was the only other thing that worked. But I’m not the one night stand type of guy anymore so, running it is.” Tyler shot him a look. 

“How long has it been since you got laid?” 

“A couple months, it’s not your question though.” Buck pointed out, and he stuck his hands up in innocence. “Truth, am I going to be allowed to meet this guy friend when I come down?” Buck asked with a significant look. 

“Do you still have your mood music playlist or do I need to get mine?” Tyler asked. Buck shot him a look. “What come on, those are the rules of truth, if I won’t answer the question you get a blowjob. And let’s be honest, your mood music was always a lot better. But in my defense I did contribute at least-” Buck rolled his eyes cutting him off by grabbing his face pressing his mouth to Tyler's. 

He got with the program quickly, pushing into Buck’s space, hands slipping up his shirt as he bit at his bottom lip. Buck moved them so Tyler was laying down on the couch, and he was pressed between his legs. His mouth moved down Tyler's throat. “Jesus, did you get more buff. I swear to god only you could spend months in a cast and come out even hotter somehow.” He bit down on his collarbone lightly sucking a spot into the skin there. “Fuck Evan.” He ground his hips upwards into Bucks causing them to both moan lightly. 

“That’s kind of the point Ty.” He shot back cheekily. Ignoring it when he got slapped on the arm for the comment, especially since it got their mouths brought back together, Tyler slipping his tongue in hotly. 

“Wasn’t the point of this for me to blow you?” He asked when they pulled apart. 

“I mean, we’ll get there eventually.” He moved back to get up when Tyler wrapped his legs around his waist preventing him from getting up without him. “Alright we’ll do it that way.” He said and got up with Tyler wrapped around him. He meant to head up the stairs to the loft, but Tyler’s mouth was back on his so he detoured instead pressing him into a wall for more support. 

His mouth trailed down Tyler's jaw sucking light marks into any open skin there was. He could hear Tyler moaning and panting heavily above him, squirming. But he never lost his hold on him. “God I forgot how hot you were. Either take me to bed now, or you’re fucking me against this wall Evan.” 

Buck pulled off walking them up the loft stairs. “I thought the point of this was for you to blow me.” He teased. 

“Evan Parker I swear to god, if you continue to use my own words against me.” Tyler threatened. But it was cut short by Buck tossing him into the center of his bed. He looked offended by action. “I hate you.” He declared as Buck stripped off his shirt. “And your abs.” 

“I’m so sorry,” he rolled his eyes, slipping Tyler’s shirt off over his head. 

“That is a filthy lie.” Buck just grinned, moving to cup Tyler over his jeans. 

“I could say the same to you.” He unbuckled his belt sliding his jeans down before tossing them off onto the floor somewhere. He moved so he was pressed into his space, before pressing open mouthed kisses down his torso finally getting level with his dick. 

“Evan seriously, I’m supposed to be the one-” He tried to protest, until Buck pulled his boxers down far enough to get his dick out wrapping his mouth around the head. “Fuck you’re so hot when you do that.” Tyler whined, one hand threading itself through the short locks of hair Buck had growing out. 

Buck huffed out a laugh, swirling his tongue around the head. He felt the hand in his hair tighten. He moved his head down swiftly taking in more of Tyler’s cock down his throat. “Fucking hell, you’re gonna be the death of me.” He said and Buck felt him straining not to move his hips. 

Buck pulled back, and then moved all the way back down feeling the back of his throat flutter in adjustment, Tyler couldn’t help but jut upwards that time and Buck moaned loudly around him. “You take it so well, god.” 

Buck pulled off fully looking up at him under his lashes. “You know how well I take it. So why are you holding back?” Tyler rolled his eyes, but got with the program. 

“Sorry not every guy I’ve been with was gifted with a gag reflex from the gods.” The hand he had gripping the sheets also went to Buck’s head guiding him down. Buck relaxed into it and let Tyler decide how far he was going to go. 

When his dick was almost fully in, he tightened his hold on Buck’s head and moved his hips up in shallow thrusts fucking into his mouth. He was moaning loudly, and Buck couldn’t help but join. “Jesus Christ Evan, I’ve missed this so much.” Buck caught his eyes through his lashes and Tyler swore under his breath. “You’re so fucking hot.” He broke eye contact throwing his head back slightly and picking up speed as he fucked into his mouth. 

Buck was hard and straining against his jeans, but he refused to shift and help himself through it until Tyler got off. “Fuck, Ev I’m gonna.” He warned a second later, going to pull Buck off. Buck let himself be led mostly off, before closing his mouth over the head of Tyler's dick letting him release into his mouth. “Fuck,” he muttered one more time, before actually pulling Buck off and up to kiss him open mouthed and dirty. Not caring that his dick had just been in his mouth. 

“Why are you still in pants?” Tyler asked, hands quickly making work at removing the layers throwing them in the same direction Buck had thrown his earlier. He shucked his own boxers the rest of the way off and tossed those away from the bed as well. His hand wrapped around Buck’s dick, and he moved to presumably return the favor. 

“Can I fuck you?” Buck asked loudly, interrupting his action. Ty looked up at him, confused for a second before smirking. 

“Rules of truth said I owe you head you know.” 

“Is that a no?” 

“God no. Where’s the lube.” Buck pointed at the drawer in the nightstand to the right and he moved to grab it quickly. 

He tossed it to Buck who grinned. He pressed Tyler back down into the bed popping the cap open slicking two fingers. He pressed his lips onto Ty’s as he slid the first finger in to ease the burn slightly. It didn’t take long until he was working up to two fingers, and then three. “I’m ready, fuck, I’m ready.” Tyler said as he fucked himself down. 

Buck nodded, pulling out a condom and rolling it on. He removed his fingers, and lined himself up quickly, adding more lube then pressing himself in slowly. “Firehose is an apt nickname.” Tyler bit out, it was breathy but not quite pained. 

“I’m sorry.” He tried and Tyler laughed. 

“Don’t be,” Buck finally bottomed out. “Fuck, do not ever apologize for the glory that is your dick.” 

“Do we need to talk about your unhealthy obsession with my dick again? I thought we were over that.” Buck teased thinking back to the first month of their relationship and Tyler smacked his arm. 

“Not if you fucking move it.” 

“As you wish.” He pulled out halfway before thrusting back in hard, he set a hard and fast pace knowing they never had time for the slow and sensual ‘love making’ some people did. It wasn’t their style. 

Buck lifted one of Tyler’s thighs over his shoulder changing the angle making him cry out. “Fuck.” He briefly wondered if his neighbors could hear them, how thin were his walls? Tyler's hands tightened on his back blunt nails scratching down the skin. Any other thoughts left his mind. 

“God I’ve missed this.” Buck muttered pressing his face into the crook of his neck sucking a mark there. The angle and sensation must have done something for Tyler because he felt cum striping down his chest. “Jesus did you just?” He asked and met Tyler’s gaze as he blushed bright red. “That’s so fucking hot.” It only took a few more strokes before he was releasing himself, dropping his weight down onto Ty, who took it all with no complaint. 

Once he recovered he pulled out, rolling off of Tyler. “I’ve never done that, how the hell, Jesus Christ Evan.” Tyler muttered and Buck huffed out a laugh. 

“You’ve never come untouched before? Well I’m glad to have been your first.” Buck replied grinning. 

“You were my first for a lot of things.” Tyler reminded him softly. 

Buck stood up slipping the condom off tying it and throwing it into the trash. “I know.” He replied just as softly before holding out his hand. “Shower, and then I think we should probably talk.” 

Tyler didn’t even have to ask about what, it was a testament to their friendship that he knew. “Fine, but we’re showering together. And you’re getting head in there, because I refuse to let the rules of truth go unfinished if this is truly the last time.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Buck replied brightly. 

+++

They were out of the shower sitting in sweatpants with coffee in front of them at the kitchen table. It was weirdly enough the most formal he had ever felt with Evan. But it was fitting he supposed to have a sort of formal meeting to close this chapter of their lives. 

“I feel like this is a lot harder than I expected it was going to be.” Evan said honestly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them since they sat down. 

TK’s eyes looked at the mark he had sucked into Evan’s neck. He knew there were several others matching on his body. He looked away, meeting his eyes instead. “It doesn’t have to be the end.” He offered. It did though, and they both knew it. Even if he didn’t want it to be the end, it was. 

“Tyler, this isn’t an end. It’s the closing of a chapter. But there is always going to be an us. You are always going to be in my life, you’ll be my best man some day. You just won’t be the man I’m walking down the aisle towards.” He nodded, it didn’t sting to hear those words like he thought it might. 

“You’ll be mine too. And you’re right, there’s too much there. Too much history for us to make a real future as anything but best friends.” 

“And that’s okay, because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. And knowing that. Knowing that I’ll never give you up, but because you’re a part of my life that way, it’s a lot easier than the alternative we were putting ourselves through.” 

TK frowned. He wasn’t wrong, they had been sort of avoiding each other for years. The few times they would finally manage to see each other they always fell back into bed. The unspoken thing between then always got bigger and bigger each time. Until the Alex of it all happened, and he was too chickenshit to see his best friend. Because he wasn’t strong enough to break off what they had completely unless he got one last taste of it. And he felt like a terrible person for it. 

“I swear to god Ev, I’m never losing you.” He looked at him, brows furrowed. “You come first, our friendship comes first. If I get with someone who cannot respect you, and understand that we had something but we are honest to god just friends now. I won’t end up with them.” TK didn’t continue the words, but he desperately wanted to ask if Evan felt the same way. 

“It does. Hands down, this friendship is something that I won’t lose. I guess we can consider it a relationship test of sorts. Deal?” Evan stuck out his pinky and TK released a long breath before attaching their pinky’s. 

“Deal.”

+++

For the first time in a while, Eddie actually hesitated with the phone in his hand to call Buck. He thought they were over all of that and back to normal after the lawsuit. But now, with this mystery  _ not mystery TK,  _ guy here he wasn’t sure anymore. 

Except Chris was crying, and he wanted ‘his Bucky’. Logic won out, he knew Buck would be more upset to find out he didn’t get the call, besides what was ten minutes out of his time with this guy. It wasn’t like Eddie even liked him much. “Chris let me grab my phone baby okay? We’ll facetime Buck alright? I will be right back.” He assured his son, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, before going out to the living room, hitting the icon to facetime Buck as he walked back. 

He felt uneasy as the phone rang for longer than it normally did though. Finally as Eddie was about to give up the phone picked up to a shirtless, and wet haired Buck. “Eddie, what’s wrong? Is Chris alright?” He questioned, rapid fire. 

Eddie let out a long breath as Chris moved himself into the frame where Eddie sat on the edge of his bed. “Bucky!” He yelled. He tried not to cringe at the volume level, when the relief in his son's tone was clear. 

“Hey superman. How are you doing?” He asked brightly. Eddie zoned out as he looked closer at the screen where Buck was sporting a dark bruise on his collar bone. In the background he saw TK, luckily fully clothed on the couch. He could hear Chris and Buck talking back and forth, but he was stuck scanning Buck’s body trying to find any other marks he might be missing. How far did they go? Did the call interrupt them? 

Chris nudged him hard in the side. “What’s up?” He asked tuning back in. Buck smiled brightly at him. 

“Can Bucky come over and read me a story?” Chris asked and Eddie shot Buck a look, the other man just shrugged. 

“I don’t know buddy, Buck has a friend over. Plus it’s pretty late. We can see him soon.” Eddie promised and Chris frowned. 

“You keep saying we’ll see him soon and then we don’t. TK said he doesn’t mind coming.” Eddie frowned, when had Chris learned TK’s name? 

“Eddie, really it’s fine. Ty and I can run over so I can read a story with Chris. It’ll give you two the chance to get to know each other.” He put the phone down, so the screen was pointing to the ceiling. When he picked it back up he had a shirt on. 

“Buddy I’ll be right back.” He assured Chris before slipping out of the room. “You need to learn to say no to him.” Eddie said a little too harshly. 

“This was never an issue before.” Buck said moving around the room like he didn’t care that Eddie had told him not to come. “Listen, because you clearly weren’t before. He hasn’t seen me in nearly two weeks. He just wants some assurance. So if that means going to your house in the middle of the night to read a story that’s a price I’ll pay. I lost him, and then I filed that stupid lawsuit and couldn’t see him. Tyler and I are stopping by, I’ll see you in 15.” 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, you're right. And I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be with Chris when you come just use your key okay?” 

“You got it.” Buck confirmed before hanging up. 

He slipped back into Chris’ room, and while his son was no longer in tears he was clearly still distraught. Eddie felt like an asshole for not listening to what he was saying to Buck. “Buck is on his way buddy. We haven’t seen him in a while huh?” 

“You two aren’t fighting again are you?” Chris asked him quietly and he frowned. Was it that obvious to his son when he and Buck were at odds. 

“No we aren’t buddy, we’ve been busy. And so has Buck.” 

“But you were just yelling at each other on the phone.” 

“That wasn’t a fight I promise. It was a disagreement.” 

“Is he gonna pick TK over us?” Chris asked and Eddie sighed. He loved having an observant kid, but sometimes it hurt. 

“No baby, TK is Buck’s friend from before. He’s visiting him now. Like sometimes your Abuela comes to see us from Texas.” 

“What if Buck decides he wants to go with him like mom left us?” 

“I don’t think he will buddy. And if he does we’ll call him and visit him if he goes.” Eddie assured his son who seemed to relax slightly at his words. Seeming to realize that if Buck left it wouldn’t be the way Shannon did the first time. 

He sat there with Chris in his arms, playing soft music through his phone until he heard the door unlock. “Eddie?” He heard Buck call. 

“In here,” He replied, looking down at Chris who perked up at the sound of Buck’s voice. 

Buck’s head appeared in the doorway before slipping into the room fully. “Hey superman. He slid onto the bed on the other side smushing Chris between himself and Eddie, but Chris didn’t seem to mind. Just unlatching himself from his father and onto Buck. 

Eddie looked at the doorway where TK was hovering awkwardly. “Hi bud, you must be Chris. I’m TK, Buck’s friend.” He said with a smile and Chris managed a smile back. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Daddy I need to talk to Bucky.” Chris told him with a serious look and he nodded, ruffling his son's hair standing up to leave the room. He passed Buck a book before he left. He mouthed ‘thank you’ as Eddie slipped out the door leading TK to the kitchen. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what Buck and Chris spoke about in times like these. But he knew enough to know that it was typically about stuff like Shannon, and how he was feeling about his dad rather than actual nightmares about the tsunami. Because even though that’s where the nightmares would start, it would allow him to process out different things. Buck always assured him that if he ever worried, or if Chris asked him to he would share with Eddie. But he typically only gave the bare bones of the talks. Eddie sort of preferred it that way, knowing that Chris had another adult he could rely on. 

TK awkwardly took a seat at the kitchen table across from him, and Eddie found himself scanning the man for marks like he had seen on Buck. He had a yellow hoodie on, but he could see a few faint pink marks sticking out. It twisted in his stomach. 

“He’s really great with him.” TK said, and Eddie looked up confused. “Evan,” he explained. Eddie tried not to scrunch up his face at the sound of Buck’s name coming out of this guy's mouth. “He’s really great with your son. He’s a cute kid by the way.” TK added and Eddie nodded. 

“Thank you.” He said automatically. “Yeah, he and Buck are super close. They were close before, but then the tsunami happened and Chris is pretty reliant on him.” Eddie admitted. 

“Ev loves him, he was gushing about him on the way here. Had me scrolling through his camera roll to see pictures of the group of you. He was gushing about both of you actually.” TK said with a wink. 

Eddie scrunched up his face in confusion. Was TK really trying to insinuate that Buck had feelings for him, while sitting there clearly freshly fucked by the man.  _ You have no right to judge, friends with benefits exist.  _ His mind supplied. 

“Yeah he’s my best friend.” Eddie said, feeling like those words hung awkwardly in the air. He was talking to Buck’s actual best friend, the one he knew nothing about. 

“I can tell man. I’m really glad he has you.” Eddie really couldn’t tell what TK’s angle was. “All of you. The 118 is really good for him, and now with Mads back. It’s just great to see him on his way to being happy again.” 

“He is happy.” Eddie defended without giving thought to it. 

TK frowned for a half second, pausing like he had something to say. Instead he shook his head slightly replacing it with a smile and slight shrug. “Of course.” He amended, but didn’t add anything else. 

Buck was happy  _ right?  _ He had to be, but if he really thought about it. He didn’t seem happy, and Maddie and his secret best friend  _ lover  _ planned a whole trip up here without Buck knowing. Eddie thought about the way TK showed up in the station, what he said to Buck. He felt stupid for not seeing it before, but the dude was right. He clearly wasn’t happy, and if Eddie really thought about it. He hadn’t seemed happy, not that bright happy that he used to exude since he came back. 

“He’s unhappy.” Eddie whispered, slumping down in his chair. TK sighed sitting up. He didn’t have the heart to feel bad, even as TK sat so clinically getting ready to explain something to him as if he were a child. 

“This is something you’re going to have to talk about with him. And I am genuinely asking you, from the bottom of my heart Eddie.” TK paused looking Eddie straight in the face until he made eye contact sitting up slightly. “You talk to him about this openly, without accusations. He doesn’t need any more of those. The last thing he needs is for anyone to make him feel guilty for this.” 

It made sense, and he could tell that TK was actually being genuine. But it felt like an accusation. “What, you think I’m some big asshole that can’t talk to my best friend without hurting him or something? What the fuck do you know anyways?” 

“Do you even remember the shit you said to him during the lawsuit? The first day he was back at the station? Do you remember any of the shit, that any of you said to him? Because I remember all of it. I remember comforting him over the phone as he agonized if you guys would ever forgive him” Eddie froze. Did he remember what he said during the lawsuit? He wasn’t even sure. 

“I don’t remember.” He muttered. 

“Listen, I’m not saying you’re a bad guy Eddie. We all say and do things out of anger. But you all forgave Evan. So when you go to talk to him, just remember that. He’s already forgiven and he doesn’t have anything to prove to any of you.” 

“Does he think he does?” 

“I think if you could remember the shit you all said to him you would already know the answer to that question.” TK told him, leaning back in his chair crossing his arms across his chest, it was the harshest he sounded since he had started interacting with him. 

“What-” Eddie started to ask, when TK cut him off. 

“That’s something you’re going to have to ask Evan if you really want to know. Because I honestly think you could be really good for him. I don’t want to interfere in that by telling you things clouded through my eyes.” TK offered a smile in his direction dropping some of the aggression out of his posture and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“You’re literally sitting across from me. Covered in his hickies, telling me cryptic shit about how you think we should get together. Do you even have self respect?” Eddie spat out.  _ He didn’t do anything to you. He was actually being nice, and helpful. He was telling you that you had a shot.  _

“Chris is down, Eddie, don’t ever fucking say shit like that again. Tyler, let’s go.” Buck said from the doorway clearly having heard the last comment that Eddie had made. 

“Buck,” Eddie said, getting up quickly, not even sure of what to say to defend himself. He was just sure he couldn’t let them leave on that bad of terms. 

“What? I won’t let you talk about my friends like that. I don’t know what the fuck your problem is tonight Eds, but you need to get over it. Tyler is one of my best friends, is  _ my best friend,  _ and I refuse to let you talk to him, or about him like that.” Buck said getting into his face. Tyler stood up quickly getting between the two. 

“Both of you, cool down.” 

“Buck is right, I’m sorry TK that was out of line. I had no right to say that to you.” Eddie said and Buck looked at him clearly shocked that an apology came that fast. They hadn’t since the street fighting started. 

“Thanks man. Listen have a good night. Evan and I will see you soon.” He looked at Buck who was still staring at Eddie wide eyed. “Probably.” He laced his fingers through Buck’s pulling them out the door. 

It wasn’t until Eddie heard the jeep start up and pull away that he finally moved. Going to lock the door, and then just dragging himself to his bedroom and flopping facedown on his bed. He wasn’t sure what about TK annoyed him so much, why he was so quick to anger. He knew he had no claim to Buck, but seeing that another man had physically laid claim on him, and Buck laid claim back, hurt. 

Then TK sitting there encouraging Eddie to go for Buck was just confusing. It wasn’t like his feelings for Buck were simple before all of this, he wasn’t just holding out on making a move because things were easy. But this just added another layer of ‘what the fuck’ to consider and Eddie knew he would be talking a lot with Frank at his next session. He was plotting the conversation in his head as he finally let sleep claim him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...thoughts, comments, questions?  
> I hope you all enjoyed!  
> If any of you reading this have read my bipolar Buck fic (imma tell you everything (so tell me what you wanna hear)) please just know I am trying so hard to get that next chapter written. I just couldn't not post this in the meantime for my own sanity! (I actually started writing this first if that matters to anyone)  
> So much love, I would love to hear from you all, and I'll see you next chapter <333


	2. Coffee conversations, movie nights, and family dinners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is a minor mention of past physical abuse, I wanted to put the warning so it doesn't come out of nowhere for people who need it.   
> Thank you guys so much for all of the love!!! I'm so glad so many people are loving this story!

Buck felt lighter than he had in weeks, maybe months. He had actually slept, restfully. He felt like some of the weight that he was carrying on his back was being lifted off, and he knew that he had Maddie and Tyler to thank for that. He was happy enough to ignore the slight sting he still felt at them going behind his back, and the talk he knew he was going to have with Maddie when Tyler went home at the end of the week. 

It was the same talk they had every single time he and Tyler saw each other again. ‘Are you getting back together’? It felt good to finally know the answer, instead of drinking wine and laying on her couch agonizing over the answer. If he was being honest he just felt good. And for now he wanted to enjoy taking time to show Tyler around LA. Like the coffee shop he went to everyday. 

“Why do you look so cheery?” Tyler asked him, eyeing him as he put a latte down on the table taking a seat across from him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I came out here because you were depressed. And now you’re oozing that weird happy you do. I mean I know getting laid makes a man glad, but not that glad.” 

Buck laughed and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not cured by any means. But right now, I just feel pretty good about all of this. Am I not allowed to be happy about my best friend coming to see me?” 

Tyler leaned forward raking his eyes up and down Buck’s body. It was similar to the way the team sometimes looked for symptoms after a call. Buck raised an eyebrow. “Listen, not that I’m not happy that you’re happy. But you were literally crying in my arms last night. Forgive me for being suspicious.” 

“Yes, but I cried in your arms  _ then  _ proceeded to get a full nights sleep for the first time in months. So I think I’m allowed a little happiness. Shouldn’t you just be happy your plan is working?” Tyler ran a hand through his hair and sighed before putting a hand out. 

Buck placed his hand in his. Tyler squeezed it tightly. “You’re right. Sometimes I think I forget we aren’t those kids doing drugs in my dorm. That this is enough to feel happy.” 

“Ty, are you happy? I mean, genuinely. Because I thought you were doing pretty good in Austin. I would have come down.” Buck told him. 

Tyler opened his mouth to reply when someone approached the table. “Buckaroo, fancy meeting you here. Hello again TK.” Hen said and Buck shot Tyler a look to say the conversation wasn’t over before turning focus over. 

“Hey! How was ice cream last night? Is Karen with you?” 

“Yeah she’s grabbing the drinks, and it was good, made putting him down a little hectic. But I’m sure you know that from times with Chris.” She gave an odd look to where his hand was still connected with Tylers. He wanted to defend their friendship, and say that it was just that. But he wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t like he had anyone else in the picture anyways.

“How was your night?” 

“It was good, we got to catch up and just relax. Honestly what a long weekend off work should consist of.” Buck replied, omitting the run in with Eddie. He knew Hen would be annoyed if he revealed the two of them were fighting yet again. This time it wasn’t even his fault, so he had no desire to get into it. 

Karen walked up then with the drinks. She gave the same look Hen had to their locked hands, and Buck looked to Tyler who just shrugged. He stood up giving Karen a hug. “Hey, Karen this is my best friend TK. TK this is Hen’s wife Karen.” He introduced motioning to Tyler who was still sitting at the table. 

She lost the weird look for a polite smile, putting the drinks down on the table and sticking a hand out. “It’s good to meet you. Nice to see that Buck has friends outside the 118,” she joked. 

Buck could see on Tyler’s face that the joke fell flat with him, but he put on a smile regardless. “It’s great to meet you. Did you guys want to join us?” He offered. 

“Nah, we’re getting to go. But it was good to meet you TK. Buck, I’ll see you soon.” Karen said, kissing him on the cheek before grabbing the drinks and disappearing off when Hen who gave a wave. 

“So you weren’t avoiding coming out because of homophobia?” Tyler asked and Buck slid back into his seat silently, ignoring the question. He waited, staring at Tyler until he cracked. “I’m not unhappy. I’m in therapy, I do AA. Dad keeps an eye on me. I have the team, and sort of Carlos, if I stop pushing him away and actually talk to him. But it gets grey sometimes, and when it does I call you, and we talk. There isn’t anything to be unhappy about. I don’t really crave often. It just feels like I’m going through the motions sometimes, without all the New York bustle I had gotten used to.” 

“You know if you ever need me to go down there that I will right?” Buck asked. He wasn’t at the point where he was worried. He got exactly what Tyler meant, and he went through it too. Just without the therapy, and parents who cared. 

“I know. Now, let’s talk about how your team is either weird about you being queer. Or just really weird about you being queer for someone who's not Eddie.” Ty said, shooting him a smirk. 

“I hate you.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“I’m still mad he said that to you last night, I don’t care that he apologized. The fact that he said it in the first place is rude enough. What happened to our friendship comes first?” Buck asked and Ty rolled his eyes. 

“What happened is that I know it does. I saw you defending me. But I’ve also heard you talking about this guy for the past year, and he makes you happy. Besides I sort of started it.” 

“You really aren’t going to tell me what you two talked about?” 

“Nope.” He popped the P and smirked. “But I’m sure Eddie will when you ask. We can talk about it after.” 

“And I suppose telling you that he doesn’t like me like that is going to go nowhere?” 

“Listen Ev, back when I couldn’t see it for my own eyes I believed that. I figured you knew what you were talking about. But you really should take Maddie and I’s word for it. That guy is into you.” 

“Maddie is inclined to think positive things. She’s my sister.” 

“Fine, then take it from someone who was also hopelessly in love with you before. That boy has got it, and he has got it bad. I don’t want to be someone who stands in the way of that.” 

“You’re the best.” Buck told him seriously and Tyler smiled. 

“I know.” 

+++

Eddie knocked loudly on Bobby and Athena’s front door before opening it and walking in. Chris ran in ahead of him finding his way to the living room where Denny, and Harry were already set up and playing. Athena came to the doorway, taking in the sight of him with a sigh. 

“You look like hell.”

“Is it that obvious?”  __

She placed a hand on his back and pointed to the dining room where Hen, Karen, and Bobby were all sitting and closed the door behind him. 

“Man did you sleep at all last night?” Hen asked him, and he glared. 

“I’ll get the coffee.” Bobby offered walking to the kitchen as Eddie plopped himself into one of the seats. 

“Chris had another nightmare last night.” He offered up, and Hen gave him a knowing look. 

“How late were you up with him? Cause he seems fine.” She looked to the living room where he was playing happily with the other boys. 

Bobby placed a mug in front of him then sat next to his wife. “I wasn’t. I called Buck,” he started awkwardly and Hen frowned. 

“So why are you all out of sorts but not him?” She asked, and Eddie looked at her, lost. 

“When we saw him this morning he seemed fine?” Karen added, and Eddie nodded slightly, but it didn't exactly make him feel any better. Buck was walking around fine, and he was agonizing all night over being an asshole to a total stranger.  _ Not a stranger, Bucks best friend.  _

“I called him, and Chris convinced him to come over. He brought that guy.” Eddie rolled his eyes crossing his arms. 

Hen interrupted. “His name is TK, he seems pretty nice.” 

“Yeah well, he brought him. And he was super weird and cryptic about everything. It was annoying. I may have accused him of having no self respect, which Buck overhead. He got mad at me, and then he left.” To his shock it was Bobby that sighed and not Hen, which is what he was expecting. 

_ You’re the one who keeps showing your cap that you have anger issues you aren’t managing.  _ Eddie sat up waiting for the reprimand. Instead it was Athena who spoke before anyone else. “Who is this kid? You all seem to have met him. We’ll have to have dinner this week Bobby. Have Buck bring him by, I want to meet him.” She gave a serious look and Eddie relaxed. Maybe someone would finally be on his side. 

“Cryptic how?” Hen prompted. 

“He kept acting like he wanted Buck and I to get together. Said Buck talks about me a lot, and he thinks I could be good for him.” 

“And this means he has no self respect how?” Bobby asked. 

“Because he was sitting there, covered in hickies. They’re clearly,” he lowered his volume, “banging. How the hell is he going to suggest that type of shit when they have something going on.” 

“Buck likes men?” Karen asked, ignoring Eddie’s panic. “That actually makes a lot of sense.” She added thoughtfully. 

Hen nodded. “Yeah, he came out yesterday. Said he wasn’t meaning to keep it a secret.” 

Eddie scoffed. “Except he did, until conveniently his mystery ex shows back up into town. Who apparently knows Maddie. Because they planned this secret trip behind Bucks back.” 

“That’s the part I’m most concerned about. I don’t care that Buck likes men, or that this kid is his ex. That’s his business.” Bobby gave both Hen and Eddie a look to say they could continue that talk later, outside his house. “I’m just worried that these two people who care about Buck, and know him well felt like they had to go behind his back to check up on him.” 

“What’s that about?” Athena asked, leaning in to listen. 

“From what we all gathered. Maddie and TK were worried about Buck. So TK came here to check up on him,” Bobby started. 

“Except they didn’t tell Buck that TK was coming. Because apparently they thought he would tell him not to because ‘he’s fine’ and he didn’t need to check up on him.” Hen finished. 

Eddie looked at the table, smoothing his fingers over the grooves. He took a breath before speaking. “When I talked to TK last night, he said something about how ‘Buck is on his way to being happy again’. Said Buck wasn’t talking about any of it to us because of stuff that was said during the lawsuit or something? Like he thinks he still has something to prove to all of us.” 

He looked up to see Athena frowning deeply. “Dinner this week, Bobby I’m serious. I want to meet this boy and talk with Buck. If somethings wrong I want to know this time before he’s coughing up blood in my backyard.” 

Bobby cringed. “I thought he was fine, anytime we ask he says he is. It’s not like I can accuse him of lying. You know how he would take that.” 

“Yeah Cap he says he’s fine, but it’s been pretty clear a lot of the time that he isn’t.” Hen argued. 

“Not fine how?” Athena asked. 

“Physically he’s great. In prime health, doesn’t struggle at all there. But I mean you guys have to admit that he just seems sad.” Karen put a hand on her wife’s arm in a show of support. 

“It’s not like we can force him to get therapy.” Bobby pointed out. 

“I mean,” Eddie started and Athena shot him a look. 

“You two are not in the same boat and you know it. Besides, didn't Buck sleep with the last one? Do we even think he trusts a therapist?” She questioned and everyone shrugged. 

“I don’t know if he even trusts us really.” Eddie told them quietly. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Karen asked, she sounded offended to be included in the group of people who had seemingly hurt Buck. 

“Just what TK said. About him thinking he has something to prove still, that’s why he isn’t coming to any of us with this right? It’s not like Maddie asked any of us to help with this ‘help Buck’ project she’s got going on.” 

“I think Buck just needs some time to process through his thoughts and emotions and he’ll come to us when he’s ready.” Bobby told them seriously.

“He’s supposed to be my best friend though. He’s supposed to come to me with this stuff, what does it mean if he doesn’t even trust me enough to mention it at all?” 

+++

TK was following Evan into Maddie’s apartment, looking around casually. She had a nice place, it was very Maddie, in a way that Evan’s place was very Evan. They were both distinctly Buckly in a way he wasn’t sure other people would be able to pick up on. They had the same family photo sitting in their front hallways, in the same exact frames. TK recognized a few things as replicas of things she had before. He was shocked to see the blanket Evan and him made her their freshman year of college sitting on her couch. 

He walked in brushing his fingers down the material lightly. “TK!” He turned to the noise just as she wrapped her arms around him. “Welcome to my place, I know I saw you yesterday but ugh I’ve missed you.” She planted a kiss to his cheek before following his gaze. 

“You kept it?” He asked, confused. “I wasn’t sure you would anyways but then, with all the moves?” 

“I took that thing with me everywhere I went. After,” she paused, taking a breath. “The Doug thing happened. I got some of my stuff shipped up to me from a friend, she included that.” Her voice was soft and she was smiling brightly at him. 

Evan walked into the room then with one of the guys from the day before. Chimney he was pretty sure. “Ty you remember Chim, Maddie’s boyfriend?” TK nodded. “What are we talking about? What did she keep?” 

TK nodded to the blanket and Evan burst out laughing. “Oh my god Ty do you remember making that thing?” 

“Wait what thing?” Chim asked, trying to follow along, TK took pity on him ripped out of the sort of sad nostalgia. 

“Evan and I made Maddie that blanket for Christmas my freshman year.” He started. 

“I kind of sprung it on him that he was going to be meeting my sister, and he panicked about how he didn’t have a gift for her and couldn’t show up empty handed.” 

“This asshole tells me not to buy her anything because they only do homemade gifts or some bullshit. So instead of just not doing a gift I looked up how to make those no sew blankets on the internet.” 

“You really didn’t need to get me a gift TK.” She said laughing. 

“Yeah, well I didn’t believe that. So I get back to my dorm, super confident about the whole thing. It’s only two pieces of fabric. Well I only had these like children's scissors. So I called Evan in the middle of the night, freaking out about how I won’t have the gift done in time because my scissors couldn’t cut the fabric.” 

“Well it was the middle of the night the day before Christmas break started so I was drunk off my fucking ass. I show up at his dorm with some scissors. I can’t cut straight for shit. But I also couldn’t seem to tie the knots, and I insisted on helping.” Evan told him laughing as Chim picked up the blanket seeming to inspect it for the first time. 

TK ignored the reminder in his head that Evan was cross faded that night, and part of his own struggles were that he had gotten high. 

“So I show up to meet his sister, toting a hungover Evan, and a crooked blanket. I’m sitting there thinking she’s going to hate me.” TK admitted, as Maddie slings her arm around his shoulders. 

“But nope, I love that blanket and he’s been family ever since.” 

“Maddie, honestly all of you. No offense, but this is the most poorly constructed blanket I have ever seen. Buck how do we let you near people, these lines are awful?” Chim teased and Evan just rolled his eyes. 

“Hey, that thing has held up 10 years now. I think Buck’s poor cutting skills had to have done something right.” She defended. 

“Yeah, they made me tie the knots like five times each to make up for it.” He teased and Evan knocked their shoulders together. 

“Hey, you’re the one who asked for my help. I told you not to get her anything.”

“Yeah, and what did you get my dad that year after I said not to get him anything?” 

“Listen, we’re talking about you, not me.” Evan said, laughing brightly and TK caught Chim staring at the two of them with a pinched face. 

“So you guys have known each other for a long time then?” Chim asked and Maddie nodded. 

“TK is Buck’s oldest friend.” She confirmed. 

“Don’t you have friends from high school?” Chim asked him and he felt Evan tense up beside him. 

“Is this an interrogation babe?” Maddie asked Chim, also picking up on the tension. 

“No, sorry. I just want as much blackmail material on Buck as I can get. If that only goes back to college so be it.” He said, raising his hands. “Maddie won’t give us much, after the photo albums.” 

“Chim is going to have dinner with us, and then we’re kicking him out for Buckley movie night.” She told them with a smile. “Buck, can you and Chim go set up? I want TK to myself for a few minutes.” She waved them away with her hands, then grabbed him by the arm plopping them down on the couch. 

“Your boyfriend seems nice.” He told her. 

“We can boy gossip all we want later. Howie asked to stick around for dinner so he could get a chance to meet you. The whole team is pretty protective of Buck. I didn’t mean to throw you to the wolves.” She replied with a sigh. 

“Maddie, he’s a part of your life. Of course I want to have dinner with him. You’re family I want to get to know the people that you’re dating. If they only extend that branch with a weird motive attached to Evan so be it.” He got that this guy didn’t know the whole story. His team didn’t either. They’d probably react the same way if Evan popped up in Texas with no announcement. 

“How is he? He seems pretty happy right now.” She looked to where Evan was joking around as he set the table. 

“I think that maybe going behind his back was a step too far. But I also think that if we didn’t plan something now we would have had to do it this way soon. He’s gonna be fine Mads. He just needs to be able to realize that for himself, hopefully we can get him to while I’m up here.” He shrugged, and she let out a breath leaning her head on his shoulder. 

“He’s just been so depressed lately. Then you said he wasn’t talking to you about it. I knew he had been binge drinking. I don’t think he would risk going near drugs again, not with everything he went through to get back on the 118, plus all the health issues. But I don’t know, I just got scared.” She admitted quietly. 

“I know, so did I. You aren’t responsible for me coming up here, we made a decision together that we thought this was the best course of action. When he inevitably gets upset about it later don’t try and shoulder the blame by yourself.” She always had. 

The few times it was TK telling on Evan rather than the reverse Maddie would always take all the blame. Said she didn’t want to hurt their friendship. Evan would forgive her because they had a family bond, but she never wanted TK to be hurt by the choice to speak up. He knew his dad had tried to do the same thing. The difference was that Evan never let him do it. Evan went through the process of checking him into rehab once, and let TK scream at him. Call him every name in the book, swear at him up and down. Then he visited him every chance he could and forgave him because ‘that’s what best friends do.’ 

As if Maddie could hear his internal struggles, she spoke up. “You’re a great friend TK. I’m so fucking glad that he has you.” 

“You both have me.” He reminded her. 

“The food is going to get cold, so stop talking crap about me and come eat.” Evan yelled from the kitchen. 

She stood up putting out a hand dragging him up as well, and into the kitchen. He took a seat next to Evan, facing him across from Chimney. “So TK, you’re a firefighter?” 

+++

The second Maddie closed the door behind Chim and turned back to him and Tyler, he felt the tension bleeding out of the man next to him. “So I think that went pretty well.” She said and Buck snorted. 

“He went from interrogating Ty, to pumping him for information. It was a little intense.” 

“Eh, he was harmless. I kinda like that I’m meeting them one by one. It’s a lot easier than sitting in your station facing all of them was.” Tyler admitted to him.

“Sorry for throwing you to the wolves then.” 

“So,” Maddie started in a far too casual tone. “Have you guys boned yet?” Tyler turned beet red next to him. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“Maddie, what the hell kind of question is that?” Buck asked her loudly. She was right, but normally she asked him this when it was just the two of them. 

“What? You guys always do. I figured it would either be the first night or the last. I wanted to know if I was correct.” She sat down bringing her legs under her. 

“Is this what you two talk about when I’m not around?” Tyler asked. 

“No,” Buck said. At the same time Maddie said, “yes.” 

“I’m flattered.” 

“The two of you are the worst. Why do I let you into the same room? All you ever do is gang up on me.” Buck said, crossing his arms. Tyler moved so his head was laying in his lap. 

“You love us.” He insisted, before pressing play on the movie they had queued up. 

“So was that the point of you sneaking him up then? Did you think I wasn’t capable of getting laid otherwise? Because you also seem to have comments on that.” Buck said, half glaring at Maddie. 

“Ev, for starters don’t bring that into it. You know for a fact that wasn’t what this was about. I’m just your sister and I know you, and I know TK. We were worried about you. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t do the same thing for either of us.” 

“I would have tried to talk about it first.” 

“We did. We both tried talking to you. You were just so adamant that you weren’t going to talk about it. You are so strong Evan, but you don’t have to take on the world by yourself. That’s all we’re trying to show you. Is that we’re here.” She put a hand on his arm. 

“Sneaking behind my back doesn’t feel like being here for me!” He yelled. Tyler sat up, pausing the moving. 

He took a deep breath, it was a nice thing for them to do. He knew that. But it also stung, that he was apparently so out of control that they felt they had to go behind his back. That this was just going to show the team that he couldn’t handle things. That he and Eddie were fighting again and he didn’t even know why Eddie was so mad. He didn’t understand any of it. He just felt helpless in it. Like the world was just moving around him again. 

It had happened before in college. Where he would just get so depressed, that Tyler would call Maddie to come see him. He felt helpless then too. But he wasn’t helpless now, he was handling it all. They just couldn’t see that. 

“You’re right. Evan I’m sorry I didn’t ask to come up. I should have just said I wanted to see you. I know you would have made the time.” Tyler told him. 

“I know you know that now. We talked about it. Maddie, I honestly don’t get what the hell you’re seeing that’s so wrong.” Buck accused. “I go to work everyday. I did my PT, the screws are out of my leg. I’m managing it all. Why didn’t you just say something? Why do you think I can’t do this!” He felt tears in the corners of his eyes. 

Maddie moved, wrapping her arms around him. “I think that you’re trying so hard to prove to everyone that you can do this. That you won’t let yourself just ask for help with the little things. And I don’t want to see you spiral Ev. Plus, I’m selfish. I left, I went away for three years. I can’t lose you the way you lost me.” She admitted, and he felt himself crying. 

He clutched onto her, the way he had to Tyler the night before. The other man got up, leaving the room. He came back a few moments later with a glass of water and a box of tissues. Buck watched as he silently set them on the table then returned to his seat. His warmth radiating into Buck’s side. He reached an arm out and pulled Tyler into the hug. 

“I don’t want them to think I’m weak. I don’t want them to think that I can’t do this. I know that you guys will never leave me. That I will always have you. But I thought that I would always have them, and then I didn’t. I just can’t risk losing that.” He whispered. 

“I feel like you aren’t giving them enough credit. I think they genuinely want to be there for you. Buck, the lawsuit was a shitshow. But it happened, and it’s done. They’re your family still. I think you should try to let them in.” 

“What if,” he started to say.

It was Tyler who cut him off. “Evan you know we can’t live our life through what if’s. I agree with Maddie, just from what I’ve seen of them. They seem like people who love you, and care about you. It can be at your own pace, but I don’t think that you should be afraid to let them in.” 

“Fine, I’ll try. Now can we get to the movie part of Buckley movie night? I’ve done too much crying these past two days.” He said wiping his eyes, leaning forward to grab a tissue. 

“Was it the sex?” Maddie asked in a tone that was slightly too clinical and they all burst out laughing. 

“Listen, only one of us accidentally sent a raving review to the wrong family member. And it wasn’t me.” Buck reminded her. 

Tyler groaned loudly. “Oh my god would the two of you let it go. I didn’t mean to sext the wrong one of you!” He buried his head in Buck’s shoulder. 

“Oh my god, please don’t remind me about that.” Maddie said blushing bright red. 

“Why do we hang out with him?” Tyler asked her. 

“We love him?” She offered. 

“Ahh yes, that’s it.” He confirmed. Pressing play and then going back to lay across his lap. 

The movie played, and Buck felt himself getting lost in the ease of the whole situation. He was threading his fingers through Tyler’s hair. Laughing at all the stupid jokes with Maddie, who seemed to finally relax after his meltdown. It was easy, and he should have just left it at that. But he also felt an ache that he knew he didn’t get to have this for long. He had his best friend until the end of the week, and then he was gone again. They had finally just gotten good. 

He wished Maddie had waited to accost his with the questions about their sex life because Buck wanted to be able to finally tell her that they were settled. But he also didn’t want to tell her that with Tyler sitting right there. They had talked it out, they cuddled the whole night and whispered the rest of their concerns out in the pitch black of the night. But it didn’t feel right to talk to her about it with him sitting there. To talk about the relief that he felt knowing that he had his best friend for life because they were adult enough now to realize that they would never be anything more. 

He wanted to be able to talk to her about what that meant for him and Eddie. How the closure he got from this did more for him than anything they thought closure with Abby would do. But at the same time he wanted to bask in his best friend finally being back, and he wanted to keep him there. He wished sometimes that when Maddie left, that he didn’t do it too. But disappearing off to South America for that time, it was what he needed. It gave him a lot of room to grow as a person on his own without anyone there to come and rescue him. It hurt like hell when she abandoned him again, but not having her there to fix his problems is a big part of why he managed to get clean. 

If he gave it real thought, that time in South America is also what proved to him that Tyler was the best friend he would ever have. That he broke both of their hearts, yet again but he refused to give up on him. Even when at that point in time it seemed like all they were good at was breaking each other's hearts. With Ty in and out of rehab and recovery, and both of them just on and off the wagon. 

He looked down at the man in his lap eyes tracing over his features fondly. He didn’t see the traces of hurt, or tension in his face anymore. His skin was clear. He laughed loud and open, like things were finally starting to be easy again. Tyler looked up, catching his eye, flashing him a smile which Buck returned. He returned his attention to the movie, trying to catch up on the simple plot. 

His phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket disrupting Tyler on his lap. He shamelessly stared at the screen as Buck unlocked his phone, nosy enough to peep the text he was opening. 

**Bobby: Athena and I would love it if you and your friend would attend an impromptu family dinner tomorrow night. She wants to get to know him. So would I :)**

“You can tell him yes, I’m down.” Tyler said quietly, as to not bother Maddie who was still actually paying attention to the screen. 

**Buck: TK and I will be there. What time? Who all is coming?**

**Bobby: Around 6? Just us, the kids, and Michael.**

**Bobby: Although I’m sure if Eddie could worm his way into being your best friend invite like he normally is, he would try.**

Buck sighed at the obvious hint Bobby was giving him. He appreciated it, but he also wasn’t sure if it was a dig at him. 

**Buck: He’s got time to be my best friend literally every other week of the year.**

**Buck: And if he wants to keep that slot he should try to not insult my other friends.**

**Bobby: You know that sometimes Eddie’s words have a way of getting ahead of his brain**

**Buck: And I also know that if I don’t hold him accountable for stuff like that he’ll think it’s okay when it isn’t**

**Bobby: You’re right kiddo**

**Bobby: You know you can always talk to me right?**

**Buck: I’ve been hearing that a lot lately**

**Bobby: That’s because we care about you son**

“I told you that they were all here for you.” Tyler pointed out and Buck sighed. 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re a genius and I should appreciate you more.” He grumbled. 

“You said it, not me.” 

+++

Eddie for the second night in a row was left awkwardly watching TV alone on his couch as soon as Chris was in bed. His hand twitched to the phone to call Buck over at first. Until he realized he couldn’t do that. It felt like the lawsuit all over again, but he knew it wasn’t. Buck and him could actually talk, he just had company. He had other  _ better  _ plans. 

Logically he knew he could still text him, that they could talk. He didn’t have to be sitting on his couch bitterly missing the man.  _ But you pissed him off and insulted his best friend, so he’s currently mad at you.  _ So he was just avoiding picking up his phone all together. Besides, he didn’t really feel like finding out if he was interrupting yet another round of the apparent makeup sex he seemed to be having with TK. 

The joy he felt at finally getting it confirmed that Buck liked men, was overshadowed by its accompaniment of TK. Even though TK seemed to think Eddie had a chance. There had to be a reason Buck never told him before then that he liked men, and that he kept his ex hidden for so long. He shouldn’t be one to judge he knew that. He fell back into bed with Shannon the second she returned and there were a lot more reasons not to. But she was also his wife.  _ TK could be the love of Buck’s life. You never talked to them about Shannon, it’s not like you can blame him.  _ The pinging of his phone brought him out of his head. 

**Buck: TK and Maddie pointed out to me that maybe you’re upset because you felt like I was keeping things from you.**

**Buck: If that’s the case, I’m sorry. I wasn’t intentionally keeping anything from you.**

**Buck: Tyler is just someone who I don’t talk about with a lot of people besides Maddie. She knows the whole story, and there is just a lot of history behind it.**

**Buck: But I’ll tell you about it someday too if it’s something you want to hear**

**Buck: Only if you can get over the weird dislike you have of him.**

**Buck: He’s my best friend. But so are you.**

**Buck: I’m totally spamming your phone, sorry man**

Eddie let out a laugh. It was a very Buck way to type, and it was a relief to know that even though he was a little mad at him. That he was still there. 

**Eddie: They’re right. I know I shouldn’t feel like that, because I know you better. But I guess I still have some stuff I need to work on in that regard**

**Eddie: You’re allowed to have people you don’t tell me about, I guess I just didn’t know that you did**

**Eddie: I’ll get over it if you agree to bring him over for beers sometime this week so I can apologize**

**Eddie: And you always spam my phone this is nothing new**

**Buck: After our next shift? We have family dinner with Bobby tomorrow.**

**Buck: Can’t do beers tho. Ty is straight edge.**

**Eddie: That’s fine, coffee then. Just want to get to know him. Figure if you see something great in him then I obviously will too :)**

**Buck: You aren’t his type ;)**

Eddie sucked in a breath at the reminder, willing himself not to throw his phone. 

**Buck: You’re my type tho ;) *eggplant emoji***

That time he did drop his phone. Facedown on the floor. He took a deep breath and only picked it up when it had buzzed again. 

**Buck: Fucking hell, sorry that was Tyler he grabbed my phone.**

Eddie nodded. That made sense. Of course Buck wasn’t actually flirting with him. It was still TK hitting on Eddie for him. Which he still couldn’t begin to understand.  _ It’s probably some weird threesome thing. Or he’s just flaunting in your face what you can’t have.  _

**Buck: He isn’t wrong though :)**

**Buck: How is Chris doing? Did he seem okay when he woke up?**

He ignored what were very much butterflies in his stomach at that. It felt so much more Buck. Open smiley faces, and casual comments. That was the type of light flirting he had gotten used to. The type of flirting that had so far led him to thinking he had a chance. It was just ten times more confusing now. 

**Eddie: He had a good day today. He woke up fine, he was very excited that his Bucky came all the way to see him last night**

**Eddie: He says we need to have another sleepover soon**

**Buck: I’m down, we’ll build a pillow fort**

**Eddie: I swear you’re just as much of a child as he is**

**Buck: You need my youthful energy old man**

**Eddie: I AM NOT THAT MUCH OLDER THAN YOU**

**Buck: You keep telling yourself that**

**Buck: Old man**

**Eddie: I’m telling Maddie you call people my age old**

**Buck: It’s rude to ask a woman her age you know**

**Eddie: You’re impossible**

**Buck: Such a defeatist attitude**

**Eddie: Someday, you’re gonna make a friend that’s younger than you. And you’re gonna get old man comments and you’ll see how this feels**

**Buck: Tyler is a year younger than me**

**Buck: I dealt with this my entire freshman year of college**

**Buck: Learn to roll with the punches ;)**

Eddie wasn’t entirely sure it was flirting when Buck admitted it was something his best friend used to do to him. Which is what he always took it as.  _ He’s hitting on you the same way his ex used to hit on him dumbass.  _ It didn't hurt the way, thinking of him and TK had before. It was honestly endearing to think that maybe, just maybe, Buck was resorting to flirting with him in the way he had first learned how to flirt. God knew that Eddie was inept at flirting with Buck in any real way. 

**Eddie: I did**

**Eddie: Remember the whole fight club thing? How could you forget that?**

**Buck: Too soon man**

**Eddie: Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?**

**Buck: IDK should you?**

**Eddie: So how long is TK in LA for?**

**Buck: Until the end of the week**

**Buck: I have to go, there is an argument breaking out over movies and apparently I’m not paying enough attention or something**

**Buck: Whack**

**Eddie: Have a good night**

**Buck: You too :)**

He put his phone down with a smile. He and Buck were fine, everything was normal. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to having to play nice with TK, but he was happy to know he got an entire shift with Buck beforehand to prepare himself. It was just a week. He had to get through a week of TK and then he was back to having his best friend. 

**+++**

“So why exactly are we baking brownies?” TK asked, as he swiped a finger through the batter Evan was stirring. Not actually helping with the process in the least. 

“Because, it’s rude to show up to a guests house empty handed.” He explained, batting his hand out of the bowl. 

“We showed up to Maddie’s with nothing yesterday.” 

“Yeah well she’s my sister it doesn’t count.” 

“Don’t you normally just show up with a bottle of wine to these sorts of things? That’s your MO. Why are we going through this much trouble? I mean I want them to like me, so we could have just sprung for a better bottle.” He moved plopping himself up on the counter. 

Evan shot him a look. “You aren’t even going to pretend to help me?” 

“This is the easy part.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“You didn’t explain the brownies.” 

“I kinda told Eddie that you were straight edge,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Last night when he invited us over, normally we drink beers and chat. But I told him no on the beers and I just thought that was the easiest reason as to why not.” 

“Oh, well I mean. Do straight edge people not gift wine?” Evan shrugged in response. 

“I have no clue. I just didn’t want any questions to pop up.”

He understood why Evan said it. And he got it, but he also didn’t want things to be harder on him just because he didn’t drink. He went to bars with the team all the time, it wasn’t like he had an issue being around it. 

“Ev, I mean I appreciate it. But you didn’t have to say that. I don’t mind it if you wanted to drink with Eddie or whatever. I don’t want to be that judgmental friend. Or hell if you want to tell him I’m a recovering alcoholic that’s fine too.”

“Nah, I mean. Honestly, it’s your story to tell. I never want to be the one to throw under the bus for something like that with someone. You won’t be the only one not drinking tonight anyways. Sobriety is something I always want to help you with. And if making brownies, and telling someone that you’re straight edge is the way to do it. Then I’m gonna do it.” He smiled, pouring the brownies into the pan passing, TK the bowl to lick clean. “Besides, straight edge isn’t even really a lie. You abstain from drugs and alcohol.” 

“That is a cheat and you know it.” He pointed a chocolate covered finger in his direction, Evan just brought it into his mouth sucking the chocolate off. 

He pulled off with a smirk. “It’s not cheating, it’s playing the system. Set a timer for 30 minutes please and thank you.” 

TK rolled his eyes, but tapped his phone anyways, setting a timer as Evan walked away washing off the other dishes he had used. Once he finished with the brownie bowl he joined him at the sink placing that bowl in, rinsing his hands. Then grabbing a rag to dry the dishes. 

“So, we didn’t get to talk about it much last night. But I take it you and your loverboy made up?” He asked, bumping their shoulders together. 

“Will you stop calling him that?” He asked, but TK could see the tips of his ears were burning red. 

“Nope. I think it’s cute when you blush. How did he take my text?” 

“You’re actually the worst for that I hope you know. He read it, but didn’t reply. I let it sit for like a minute before I told him it was you who sent it.” 

“You ruined all the fun. The poor boy probably just needed some time to process.” 

“If it was going to do anything, your use of emoji probably killed it.” He passed TK the last dish, turning around and leaning on the sink. 

“So you admit it might have worked.” He smirked, feeling triumphant for all of two seconds before Ev opened his mouth again. 

“Why do you want him to like me so badly? It’s okay to just admit some crushes are hopeless and move on.” 

“Why are you so adamant that he doesn’t?” 

“I’m not.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“No-” 

“Honestly Evan. I’m serious, I don’t understand what it is about this one that’s got you so messed up. Please tell me.” Evan shot him a look, so he continued. “Listen, you’ve never had this problem before. You’re attractive, and you know it. So do the people around you. Confidence has never been an issue for you. I didn’t say anything when you wanted to have your weird relationship with a woman 20 years older than you.” 

“Tyler,” Evan started. 

TK ignored him and continued. “Because I understood that you wanted to have an adult relationship. That you were done with the meaningless sex binge. I supported you. Even though I didn’t fully agree, you did the same for me with Alex. But you  _ did  _ the adult relationship thing. You did it, you made it. So what’s the issue? You know you’re capable of not fucking it up. You know that you’re hot. You know that Maddie and I both approve. So what the hell is holding you so far back Evan?” 

“Because there’s too much to lose okay!” He yelled. He looked ready to apologize but TK just grinned at him. 

“Keep going.” 

“There is just too much on the line with him. There’s too much at stake. If I’m wrong, if I let it all out, and it turns out he doesn’t want me back? Then I could lose Christopher. I could lose his friendship as a whole. And having him as a friend at all is better than not having him because I decided to go and fuck it up with feelings.” 

“Do you think he would actually bar you from seeing Chris?” 

“What?” Evan asked, clearly confused at that being the only thing TK drew from the reveal. 

“Do you really think that Eddie is that type of guy? I mean he calls you when the kid is having nightmares. I really don’t think you asking him on a date is going to make him give up the relationship you have with his son.” TK honestly didn’t think much of anything Evan did would make Eddie give him up. But that was neither here nor there. Both of the men clearly had their heads in the sand about the whole situation. He wondered if it was as obvious to the 118 as it was to him, because honestly how did they work through all the tension. 

“No I mean. Chris is Eddie’s life. He would never do anything to hurt him.” Evan said, awkwardly. Seeming to realize that TK had a point. 

“Okay, well then you clearly won’t lose Chris out of it. You think it’ll be easy to end a friendship if you’re always around his kid? I mean honestly, if you ask me. He seems like the kind of guy who would turn you down nicely if he wanted to turn you down. Which I really don’t think he does. But even if he did, it would be really hard to end an entire friendship if you’re still hanging around. You’d be back to normal in no time.” 

“Have I ever told you that I hate it when you have a point?” 

“If I ask out Carlos will you ask out Eddie?” He asked, sticking out his hand to make a deal. Evan laughed, shaking his head walking towards the living room. 

“Nice try.” 

“Eh, it was worth a shot.” He replied, grabbing his phone and following him out. 

+++

Buck knocked loudly on the Grant’s front door, shifting the plate of brownies from his hand’s into Tyler's. “What?” He asked, staring down at the plate. 

“What do you mean what? I thought it would look better if you gave them. Besides, I want a hug from Athena.” He explained, with a shrug. The door opened, and as expected Athena immediately drew him into her arms. 

“Buck, we’ve missed you around the house honey. It feels like it’s been ages. The kids are excited, May has questions for you. She’s got a science project due at the end of the month.” She released him, and looked to Tyler. 

“Thena, this is TK. Tyler, this is Athena Grant. She’s Bobby’s wife.” He said, explaining more for show than anything. Ty knew the low down on everyone on the team. Just like Buck, knew everything about his old team, and now the 126. 

“It’s so good to meet a friend of Buck’s. Come in both of you.” She ushered them both into the house. The second they were through the threshold she took the plate from Tyler. “You brought brownies? I think I’m gonna like you.” She stated, giving him a half hug. 

“I already like you so that’s a relief.” Tyler said, and Athena raised an eyebrow. “Evan has only ever said great things about you.” He explained, and she smiled softly at Buck. 

“That boy is too much.” She stated, looking at Tyler as if Buck wasn’t right next to him. 

“Yeah, yeah. Is everyone in the dining room already?” 

“Yes they are. You go on and lead the way.” 

Buck rolled his eyes, but let the pair trail a few steps behind him. As much as Athena terrified him when they first met, she was honestly the one he trusted most in regards to Tyler. He knew that she only ever wanted what was best for him, but also trusted him to make his own decisions in a way everyone else didn’t seem to. 

“Buck, hey you made it!” May said, getting up from the table to come give him a hug. 

“Yeah I did. What did I hear about a science project?” He asked, releasing her giving Harry a hug as he came up. 

“Ugh I swear to god it’s impossible. Can you help me after dinner if you and your friend aren’t too busy?” She pleaded. 

Athena and Ty walked into the room then. “Of course we can. In fact, TK here was a science nerd in college as well.” 

May’s voice dropped lower so only Buck could hear her. “Wait, that’s your ex?” He raised an eyebrow. “I heard mom and Bobby talking.” She explained, before continuing. “He’s cute.” She sounded approving and Buck couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What are you two giggling about?” Athena asked, walking over. 

“Nothing. Ty, this is Athena’s daughter May. May, this is my best friend TK. I kinda signed us up to help her with her science project after dinner.”

“It’s great to meet you. I love science.” Tyler said with a smile, shaking May’s hand. 

“Thank god because I hate it.”

Buck laughed, and dragged Tyler off to the dining room to meet the rest of the household. “Alright, so you already met Bobby.” Bobby gave a smile, and wave. 

Michael stood up, saving Buck from the awkward drama he always faced, how the hell to introduce him. “Hey man, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Michael, I'm Harry and May’s father. You must be TK.” 

“That’s me.” Tyler confirmed. He then turned to Harry who was sitting at the table giving Buck and Ty the same weird look he had been getting a lot. “You must be Harry. I’m TK.” Tyler gave a smile. “I’m Buck’s best friend.” 

“It’s okay. You can say you’re dating.” Harry told Tyler seriously. Buck was about to jump in to ask what the hell everyone in the house had been saying about the two of them but didn’t have time to before Harry continued. “Our dad is gay, and he used to have a boyfriend. But he doesn’t anymore. But it’s okay to be open about you and Buck because we don’t judge.” He explained happily. 

Michael gave a squawk of indignation, presumably at having his relationship status flaunted around. May burst out laughing, and Bobby and Athena were jumping over themselves to try and remedy the situation. 

“Baby, where did you get the idea that Buck and TK were together?” Athena asked. 

“Isn’t that what you and Eddie, and everyone else was talking about yesterday at the table? I heard you when I came to get some water. Eddie tried to be quiet about it. But I heard him. And I wanted to let Buck know it was okay. That we love him.” Harry said. Buck could feel his heart swelling, even if Harry was wrong. His heart was so firmly in the right place. 

He walked over and knelt next to the chair Harry was sitting in. “Buddy, Tyler and I aren’t dating.” Harry looked awkward, so he continued quickly. “We used to date. And I still have a lot of love for him, but now he’s just my best friend. Kind of like your mom and dad.” 

“So you aren’t together anymore?” Harry confirmed. 

“That’s right. But I really appreciate you wanting me to know that you would be okay with it if I was, it means a lot to me.” 

He glanced up to see Athena and Bobby smiling fondly at him. He stood up and Athena ruffled Harry’s hair. “It was a nice thing to do for Buck.” She started, “but don’t spy on our conversations kiddo.” She reminded him. 

He nodded solemnly. Bobby, who Buck knew couldn’t stand to see anyone sad for long swooped in. “How about we serve dinner now?” 

Finally they were sitting around the table eating when the questioning started. Compared to everything Chim had asked the night before it was pretty tame. Buck figured part of it was due to the kids sitting at the table. But he hoped he was right in assuming that Athena had his back. 

“So TK, how did you meet our boy?” Athena asked with a bright smile.

“Freshman year orientation. We were in the same group. Then we ended up in the same Psych 101 course, and we were inseparable from there on out.” Ty shot him a grin. 

Freshman orientation was a great time for the both of them, they hooked up in an empty classroom. They exchanged numbers but when Buck got home he and his dad had a massive fight which ended up with his phone broken. His arm was nearly broken as well. He ended up staying with Maddie until the semester started. Running into Tyler in class he managed to explain everything and they went on an actual date. 

“Buck I don’t think I knew you went to college.” Michael said, and Buck winced as Tyler shot him a questioning look. 

“Uh, it didn’t really stick. I got a full ride for four years but I ended up only getting my associates. It just didn’t work out.” He explained, taking a large sip of water. 

“What did you go for?” May asked, jumping on the information. “Where did you go?” 

“NYU, for Early Childhood Education.” He mumbled out. 

“Wait Buckaroo how did you end up a firefighter if you were going to school for teaching?” Athena asked. Clearly the information was news to her as well.

If he thought about it the only person who probably had any idea he went to college was Bobby, and that was simply because it was on his resume. Which he had access to. He never really gave much thought to how little he talked about his past. He knew the team knew, because he talked about it in passing, but what did they think he did? Had he even told them where went or had they all assumed he went to community college. Did they ever really process it? He had mentioned college and TK but were shocked when TK arrived. They just never asked for more. Sitting here with everyone's eyes on him made him wish he was a little more forthcoming. He knew that it was all a little tricky and convoluted, but he couldn’t believe now just how little they actually knew. 

“After I dropped out, I left and went to South America for a little bit. To find myself I guess you could say. I saw a lot of stuff down there, and started to grow into my own. I went for my SEALS training. I decided that I wanted to help people, thought that would be a good way to do it. I dropped out during hell week. I was ‘too emotional’ to be a SEAL. It gave me the training I needed to become a firefighter.” She raised an eyebrow at the explanation. 

“But what happened to teaching?” She prodded. 

“I guess, I just felt like too much time had passed. I wasn’t the same person. I still love kids.” 

“Oh we know.” Bobby said, laughing. “I think you would have made a great teacher Buckaroo.” He said sincerely. 

“I always tell him that if for any reason firefighting doesn’t work out, he should just take the tests and apply somewhere. Anybody would be lucky to have him.” Tyler said, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. 

“Well you’re biased.” Buck said, but he could feel the tips of his ears heating. 

“So TK, what did you go to school for?” Michael asked. 

“Fire Science. Unlike Evan here I knew from the time I was old enough to decide what I wanted to do with my life that I wanted to be a firefighter. Just like my dad.” 

“Honestly, Owen is probably part of the reason I considered firefighting as well.” Buck added. 

“What was NYU like? I’ve heard their campus is great. Did you get your degree?” May asked, and it was Tyler's turn to look sheepish. 

“I lasted about as long as Ev, and then I finished up off campus and online but I did finish up with my degree. The campus is great, but campus life isn’t for everyone. I just couldn’t make it work.” He explained. 

“That’s right honey.” Michael said looking at May. “And if you ever feel like you aren’t feeling right on campus you just call one of us and we’ll come get you and sort it out.” 

“So, what brings you all the way up to LA? Buck didn’t tell us you were due for a visit.” Athena questioned. 

“It was a surprise. I haven’t gotten to see him in person in a while so Maddie helped me plan a trip up.” 

“That was awfully sweet of you. I’m glad Buck has a friend like you.” 

“Evan is the best person I know. I’m lucky to have him in my life.” 

“Do you two see each other often?” Bobby asked, and Athena shot him a look. Buck wasn’t exactly sure why, because the question was relatively harmless. 

“Not as often as we’d like. But with the distance and our jobs it’s hard to make plans sometimes. Now that I’m in Texas I’m hoping it’ll be a little easier than New York.” Tyler said with a bright smile. 

“Wouldn’t New York work out better? Buck you’re from Pennsylvania right? You could always pop by home for a visit at the same time.” Michael said, and Buck felt his hand tense up around the water glass he was going to take a sip of. 

It seemed like everyone at the table could sense the tension. Buck wasn’t sure what they knew about the situation but he thought it was pretty clear that they weren’t close when he was crushed by a fire truck and they never showed. They were never even called. When Maddie got kidnapped, he couldn’t have reached out even if he wanted to. The house number might have been the same but he didn’t know if they still lived there. He didn’t know anything. He hadn’t spoken to his parents in nearly a decade. He wasn’t exactly sure how to say that, especially in front of Harry and May. 

“I uh, I don’t go back home.” He finally muttered out. He stabbed at his lasagna refusing to meet anyone's eyes. He didn’t feel like seeing the pity he always ended up getting from people. 

“Oh, well sorry.” Michael replied. 

“Why don’t you go home Buck? Don’t you miss your parents?” Harry asked. 

“Well buddy you know. Some parents aren’t like your mom and dad.” He started trying to explain, looking at Athena for help. 

It was May who jumped in however. “Some people don’t have good families. But that’s why he has us instead. We’re his family now.” 

He knew he was smiling like a dork at that. But honestly, hearing it from May made him feel so loved. Bobby and the rest of the team could placatingly tell him he was family all the time. This felt more real and honest. 

“That’s right. Buck has all the family he needs out here with us. And with TK of course.” Athena said, looking at Harry but then she shot Buck a wink. 

This finally seemed to push them away from questions and onto storytime. Because the rest of dinner was spent telling Tyler stories about Buck’s time with the 118. Or adventures he had been on with the Grant’s. 

After dinner, and helping May with her science project Athena found him. “TK, do you mind if I steal Buck here for a minute before you two get on your way?” She asked. Tyler nodded, and he found himself following her into the kitchen again. 

“Honey, you don’t have to tell me anything. Just know that there is no pressure here.” 

“Thena what is this about?” He asked carefully. 

“I know Michael touched on a sticky subject there with your parents. And it’s one we all tend to avoid because you never bring them up. You don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I just need you to know that I am here for you.” 

“I know that.”

“I’m glad. Because I know things got a little jumbled up for a little while there. But you are always welcome here Buckaroo. You are a part of this family and we are here for you no matter what. Anything you want to talk about I’m here to listen.” 

“I haven’t spoken to my parents since I left for college. Since right after I met Tyler actually.” He admitted. 

“That’s your right.” 

“I wasn’t going to cut them out. My dad maybe. It wasn’t my plan to cut my mom out of my life. When I came home from orientation, my dad found out from some family friend that I was with a guy. One of the kids I used to go to school with apparently saw me and Tyler together or whatever, told their parents. Who in turn told my parents.” 

“Oh Buck.” Athena said quietly, clearly knowing where it was going. 

But he had started telling the story and he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He had to say the words, he had to get it off his chest. “I had been so careful at home, but I don’t know there was something about being out there that felt so freeing. I didn’t expect it to follow me. It did, of course it did. I was stupid to think it wouldn't.” 

“You aren’t stupid.” She told him firmly, grabbing one of his hands in both of hers. 

“He heard me talking to Maddie once about a boy before. He tried to beat the gay out of me then. I never did or said anything about men after that so I guess he thought it worked until that point.” He felt tears in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them back before continuing. “He beat the shit out of me and threw me down a flight of stairs. My mom helped me pack my bags and called Maddie to come get me in the middle of the night. I haven’t seen or heard from either of them since. I expected for a while at least to hear from my mothers. But my dad broke my phone, and Maddie never gave her my new number in case he wanted to track me down.” 

“You are so loved by all of us Buck. I know it’s not the same, and I know it hurts but-” 

“No, it’s not the same. I think it’s better though.” He told her with a smile. She tugged him into her arms tightly. 

“If I ever meet your father I’m arresting him.” She warned. Buck found himself laughing despite the situation. 

“Nah, just having you guys is enough. No need to mess any of that up.” He promised. 

It felt lighter, to tell someone. Get some of it off his chest. Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe he could start leaning on them a little bit more. They wouldn’t just abandon him for having issues. He had a family he could count on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thoughts, comments, questions? So so much love! Next chapter we get some more Buddie I promise! We also get the starts of Carlos and TK finally starting to talk. I do want to make this clear, because I guess I may not have before. TK and Carlos are not together. Not in any official capacity at all, and what he did with Buck was not cheating.   
> Anyways thank you all so so much and I'll see you next chapter <333


	3. Omelettes, dresses, and the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: minor mention of past physical abuse (same as last chapter)   
> Hello hello hello! Thank you all so much for the love!!! I am so glad everyone is enjoying this story.

Eddie was determined to have a good shift. He finished out the long weekend on a positive note. He got to take Chris out to the park and then back to Abeulas, who yet again told him that he needs to bring Buck by more. He facetimed with his parents for a while, talked about maybe planning a visit back home soon. TK mentioning living in Texas, mentioning Judd made him realize just how long it had been since he had gone home. He missed it, not enough to move back like his parents wished. But he did miss it, and he wanted Chris to be able to experience it all over again. Plus the added bonus of seeing his family. 

He was also determined to make the most out of the TK situation. He figured he didn’t have to love the guy. But he was well versed in hiding his feelings enough, at the very least he could get over obvious contempt and he and Buck would be fine after coffee with the man after their shift.  _ It wouldn’t kill you to actually try to like the guy.  _ He figured in his next talk with Frank the man might actually be semi proud of the progress he was making. 

He looked up a second too late, as Buck was walking into the same path as him. Apparently also lost in his own head because they collided. Eddie reached out his hands, catching Buck around the waist to steady the both of them. Buck caught his eye with a small smile and light blush. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking. How was your weekend?” He asked, hiking his bag back up on his shoulder nodding towards the locker room. 

Eddie nodded, following him over and talking. “It was good. I think Abuela is gonna have my head if I go over for another family dinner without you. How was yours?” 

“I might have your head if you keep going without me. I love her and her cooking.” He paused looking Eddie up and down with consideration. “I guess you’re a benefit as well.” He winked, then started getting dressed. 

Eddie felt his heart skip a beat. But then Buck went on. “My weekend was good. Yesterday was filled with the obligatory LA sightseeing. But before that we did Buckley movie night, and then we went over to the Grant’s for family dinner. I think Ty is replacing me as May’s favorite. He’s a lot more help in the school department. Asshole had to go off and get an actual degree and all that jazz.” Buck said, there was no restment in his tone. It was laced with laughter. 

“Yeah, you mentioned college a few times before and how it didn’t work out. What were you going for?” 

“Early Childhood Education.” Buck said with a shrug. 

And damn, if that didn’t make sense Eddie thought. Of course that was why he told him that he loved kids, and why he was so great with Chris. And every other kid he got to interact with on a call. It was a love for kids, and Chris was just the one he got to see the most.  _ He loves Denny, and Harry too. You don’t see him picking them up after school and sleeping in pillow forts with them on his days off.  _

“It didn’t stick?” He prompted, turning too soon. Watching as Buck stripped his shirt off, slipping his work shirt on. 

Eddie got a glimpse of tattoos he wished he could say he didn’t have memorized. “Nah, college in general really just didn’t work out for me. I got my associates, but once I was done with I guess you could call it soul searching? I realized I wanted to help people in a different way.” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Soul searching?” 

“Yeah I went down to South America. Mainly spent my time bartending and trying to forget. Gained some pretty good life skills.” Buck shrugged. Eddie felt like his brain needed time to reboot from all of the new information he was getting. 

“Life skills like what?” 

“Ahora puedo hablar español.” 

(Now I can speak Spanish.)

Yeah, Eddie’s brain officially needed some time to reboot. Hearing Buck slip in some Spanish with no hesitation about his words. The absolute confidence he had in what he was saying. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it. 

“Uh, how did I not know you spoke Spanish until now?” He finally asked, sure there was a dumb look on his face. 

“I’m not sure man.” Buck told him laughing. “Abuela knows, I’m pretty sure Chris does too. I think Hen might as well? I guess it just never came up in a direct sense in front of you.” 

“Do you speak any other secret languages?” He joked, shocked when Buck nodded. 

“Polish, ASL, and some Russian.” 

“Why those?” 

“My mom's family was Polish. She taught us for when they came to visit, and because she was under the firm belief that kids should be brought up ‘cultured.’ Maddie and I still have full conversations in Polish sometimes when we don’t want people to listen in. Or just to practice so we don’t lose the skill.” 

“You say cultured like it’s a bad thing.” 

“Her idea of it sometimes was. ASL because I had a close friend in grade school who was deaf. Then I made sure to keep up with that because I thought it would help with teaching, and it’s proved to be pretty useful with this job too.” 

“Doesn’t Chim know it too?” 

“Yup. And then Russian because Ty speaks it and he tried to teach me it throughout the course of our friendship. I caught onto a lot more than he was ever expecting me to, but I think that was simply because I already knew multiple languages. I’m taking it on duolingo but it’s pretty slow going.” 

“So you just went to South America to do some soul searching, and came back fluent in Spanish?” He asked, still stuck on that. _ Guess you need to stop muttering about him in spanish around him.  _

“Well I mean I took it in high school. So I knew enough to get by. Then there were some very nice men and women who took pity on teaching me over chunks of time that I uh, spent time with them.” He blushed high on his cheeks. “We should head up.” 

They made their way up the steps, where the rest of the team was already milling around talking. Chim and Bobby were in the kitchen talking but Hen was sitting watching the news. 

“Good morning slowpokes.” She greeted, looking between them clearly trying to see what if there was something she was missing. 

“Morning!” Buck replied brightly, clearly missing the look. He left Eddie’s side walking to the couch where Hen was sitting plopping himself down without grace. 

“How was your weekend with your boo?” She asked him, but she was looking at Eddie. 

He frowned. It wasn’t like he couldn’t hear about TK. His freakout at Bobby’s house and subsequent talk with Hen about Buck’s relationship after wasn’t important. He and Buck were fine, and they had plans. He tried to convey that with his eyes, Hen rolled her and turned to Buck. 

“It was good, he’s not my boo. I don’t know why you guys all keep acting like he’s my secret boyfriend or something. We’re exes yes but he’s my best friend. So please stop being weird about it. It’s kind of uncomfortable honestly.” Buck said, sitting up. 

Hen was on the defense quickly. She seemed confused, and honestly so was Eddie. “Buck, we’re just teasing you. I don’t know what everyone else did this weekend but-” 

“I know you guys are just trying to be lighthearted and funny, but you don’t know Tyler. You didn’t even know I was bi until two days ago so I get that it might be a little weird. But he’s my best friend, and I would appreciate it if you would stop acting like we’re a thing because we’re two queer men who are close.” 

“Buck.” She told him calmly. “It was never my intention to make you uncomfortable. You’re right I don’t know the situation. And it’s a little awkward of me to insinuate that you and your ex are something more than that. I would also be pretty offended if someone did that to me.” 

“Thank you. I didn’t mean to snap. I just get enough of that from Maddie. Then dinner with Chim, and Harry said something at family dinner last night. I guess I was a little on edge about it.” Buck ran a hand down his face. 

Eddie finally took a seat near the two of them. Buck had never said anything about the light jokes Chim and Hen would make at their expense. He didn’t realize stuff like that bothered him so much. Eddie would always take it with a blush and denial saying they were just close friends.  _ The difference is you are just close friends. He and TK were something more. They have a history. He has something to be mad over. He has real feelings tied to it.  _

Chim walked into the room then munching on an apple. He took a look at Buck and laughed a little. “Oh good man you got some.” He pointed to his own neck in the same spot where the hickey Buck still had, had become visible. “Was it TK?” He asked. 

“I’m going to help Bobby.” Buck muttered, jumping to his feet not meeting anyones eyes. Simply storming off to the kitchen. 

Eddie could hear Hen chiding Chimney for the lack of tact and telling him to leave the TK thing alone. But he was stuck watching Buck. He was using his arms to talk to Bobby, swinging them wildly. Clearly animated in discussion, when Bobby turned pointing the spatula in their general direction. He caught Eddie’s eyes and frowned slightly, before turning back to Buck. He finally seemed to deflate slightly taking the spatula and standing in Bobby’s spot in front of the stove. 

Bobby approached them. “Listen, I’m not telling you that you have to leave Buck alone. Because I am always one for good old fashioned teasing, you know that. But he only just came out to all of us, remember that he might be slightly uncomfortable with all of it being out in the open.” He told them seriously. 

“He said it himself that he wasn’t planning on keeping it a secret.” Chim said. 

“But there was a reason he did.” Bobby said. 

“What are you not saying Cap? You clearly know something.” Hen asked. 

“Listen I’m only telling you this because Buck told Athena it was okay to tell me. And he just told me it was okay to tell all of you. I don’t want you mentioning this to him on shift though, he needs time away from this. He needs work to be a place where he can get away from it.” He looked at all of them, and they all nodded. 

“Tell us.” Eddie said. 

“Buck’s father and him had a pretty bad falling out, and the main reason for that falling out was because he found out that Buck was with a man.” Eddie could see the way Bobby winced over the word falling out. 

“Did he?” Hen started asking, clearly not sure of how to say the words. 

“Hit him?” Bobby nodded. “From what Athena said, it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened. It was just the worst it had ever been. He hasn’t spoken to his parents since. So it’s a little bit sensitive for him. He lost one family because of this, he doesn’t want to risk losing another.” 

“Oh Buck.” She muttered. She turned to look at the man in question who was currently flipping omelettes, head bopping to the music on the radio. 

“He never said.” Chim said, clearly feeling bad about the whole situation. “I knew from Maddie that their parents weren’t the best. It’s why they never bothered calling them when everything went down. She told me it was just better to leave them out of it. I never thought.” He shook his head. “He’s so bright, the kid is like sunshine. Who would do that to him?” He finished slumping down in his seat. It was clear he was thinking not only of Buck but also of Maddie and how she was affected by all of it. 

“Buck has overcome a lot. He’ll be okay, he just needs some time to adjust to the fact that we know and are okay with it.” Bobby assured them. 

“I feel like everytime I think we’ve hit the worst of it. Something else happens.” Eddie said. Everyone looked at him, curiosity etched on their faces. 

“Fire Truck bombing, oh whatever he’s fine. Except he’s not and he’s dying at a dinner party. Then he’s fine again just depressed, and he’s having a good day with my kid and a fucking natural disaster happens. Then I can’t talk to my best friend so I start taking it out on him. But we’re good he’s getting over it. Oh nope surprise again Maddie and his longtime best friend are super concerned because he’s depressed but just better at hiding it from us. It’s okay though because we know how to be there for him. But we don’t actually because apparently his life is just a series of fucking bad shit happening to the person who deserves it the least!” He felt his hands shaking, and he clenched them into tight fists. The urge to hit something present at the front of his mind.  _ Deep breaths, stop with the anger issues at work. You need to show progress.  _

“Eddie.” He heard from behind him, where Buck was staring at him eyes wide. 

“Shit I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Eddie started spouting out. 

“It’s okay. It’s fine, uh breakfast is ready guys.” Buck told them. Waving the spatula to the table behind him, shifting from foot to foot. 

They all stood up squeezing his arm before taking a seat at the table. Finally Eddie sucked it up and went to move past him to join the group at the table. Buck seemed to have other plans. He reached out and grabbed Eddie by the arm steering him deep into the kitchen. He refused to meet Eddie’s questioning eyes. Instead leaning against the counter, clutching a water bottle, playing with the label before opening his mouth to speak, and closing it a few times. 

Finally he seemed to decide on the words. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I’m not depressed or anything. My life isn't, like miserable by any means, shit has happened yeah. But shit happens to everyone. I thought my life was miserable in college. It’s why I went soul searching. It showed me that everyone has a life, everyone has problems. Like you said that day in the grocery store. I make my problems other people's issue. I’m just trying to not be as exhausting. I’m trying to handle it. I don’t mean to keep adding to the pile.” 

Eddie felt like he had been gut punched. He heard TK’s words coming back to him. _ ‘Do you even remember the shit you said to him during the lawsuit? The first day he was back at the station? Do you remember any of the shit, that any of you said to him? Because I remember all of it. I remember comforting him over the phone as he agonzied if you guys would ever forgive him.’  _ Eddie was an asshole, and he had forgotten all of the shit he had said. But he remembered it now in perfect clarity. Yelling at Buck in the middle of the grocery store, calling him exhausting. Things he said in anger that he didn’t think would stick. Of course they had though, because actions have consequences. Eddie knew that better than anyone. 

“Buck, I didn’t mean that. I was angry and stupid and I never meant for any of that shit to last. I mean yes, in the moment I can admit that I said it because I felt abandoned. I wanted something to hurt you as badly as I was hurting. But I don’t think that, you can always come to me. I always want you to come to me.” 

“Sure man.” Buck replied easily. Eddie could tell he didn’t quite believe it though. 

“Buck you gonna come eat man? These omelettes you made a bomb!” Chim called. 

Buck shot Eddie a small smile and nodded towards the table. “C’mon man. Let’s eat before the bell rings.” 

+++

TK was an adult. He had his own place. Okay well not anymore, but he used to. He had a college degree. He worked a full time job, he paid his taxes. There were things he reasoned, that just shouldn’t be scary to him. His father messaging to say that Carlos missed him on a call was one of those things. It didn’t mean anything did it? It was probably just a hey, I’m used to seeing TK with you type of thing. His dad was probably reading into the situation. Honestly he had a bad habit of doing that when it came to TK’s love life. But in his defense TK did it back to him. They hadn't talked since he came out here. TK hadn't exactly left them in a place where they could. They weren't the type of friends that casually texted, they were a hookup that ran into each other in person and went with it. But TK wanted more.

Maddie finally noticed that his head wasn’t in the game and she sighed dramatically. “Oh my god Teek. Spit whatever it is out. Then help me pick out an outfit for date night. Buck is useless. You’re normally my only help when it comes to this stuff and you’ve said the last five dresses look ‘nice’. I looked like a cow in the last one.” 

He laughed a little at her theatrics. He always loved hanging out with Maddie. But he wasn’t sure if it was going too far to ask her for boy advice right now. He reasoned that she had never cared much before. “Okay let me start by saying that just because Evan and I had sex doesn’t mean we’re getting back together. We decided that we’re better off as just good friends. No more sex.” 

She beamed. “Ooo there's a boy!” One of the other women in the fitting room shot her a look. She shot one right back. “Tell me about him, what’s his name, what’s he like.” 

“His name is Carlos. He’s a cop. We met on a call, and then again at a bar. We, it’s complicated.” He said rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I love you honey. But with you it’s always complicated.” He frowned, but nodded slightly. “Listen, it’s always going to be complicated. Everyone is going to have complications, if you really like him. Figure out how to make it simple. Work for it.” 

“There’s just so much past to get into. I’ve already flipped out on him about a few things. And I mean what cop wants to get with a recovering addict. Isn’t that kind of like a conflict of interests?” 

“I think I understand better than anyone about tricky pasts.” She gave him a pat on the leg. “TK, my ex husband stabbed my current boyfriend. The only way Chim and I got past it, and believe me it took time. Was by talking about it, being open about it. We were friends before we were anything else. So maybe try being Carlos’ friend before anything else.” 

“I’ve never been very good at that part.” 

“It’s worth a shot though isn’t it? If you like him?” He nodded. “Good. Now pay attention. I’m retrying on those dresses and I need actual opinions.” 

“You got it Mads.” 

He wasn't lying when he said he never did the friends part well. He and Evan jumped into a relationship, the all consuming kind. Then he would go through hookups that became boyfriends or fizzled out. He never managed to just know he liked someone, and that they liked him, and just wait. He didn’t have the patience. 

She popped opened the curtain in a deep plum dress with a heavy V-neck. “Very booby. Good for just the two of you but not around family. It’ll get you laid though.” 

“See, that’s the kind of advice I’m looking for!” She cried happily. 

“You only keep me around for this.” He joked back. 

“This is one of many reasons.” 

He rolled his eyes, and motioned for her to go change into the next dress. As she did he pulled out his phone. Friends. He could do friends, he told himself as he pulled up his and Carlos’ text thread. Friends messaged each other just to talk. Plus with him in a different state they didn’t run the risk of hooking up for the next five days. He could do this. 

**TK: Hey, how’s Austin without me? The 126 falling apart yet?**

Maddie came out in the next dress. It was floral, and honestly sort of frumpy. “No.” He said plainly. 

“What? You need to give me more than that.” She said twisting in the mirror. She had a frown on her face though, not liking what she was seeing either. 

“You look like my grandmother in that. No, I won’t let you get it. You’re too hot to be caught dead in something that shapeless. Next.” She stuck her tongue out, but complied, slipping back into the changing room. 

His phone chimed. 

**Carlos: It’s a lot like it was for the 27 years before you showed up.**

**TK: Boring then**

**Carlos: The 126 is doing fine, although I’m sure you could have messaged one of your squad if you really wanted to know.**

**TK: Maybe I wanted an impartial answer**

**TK: Or maybe I wanted an excuse to talk to you :)**

The three dots appeared and disappeared three times before his response finally came through. 

**Carlos: How’s LA?**

Maddie pulled back the curtain in a simple red dress. “Yes, I’m very into it. It’s an all occasion dress. You should get it.” He told her, locking his phone quickly. 

“Who are you talking to?” She asked, eyes tracking the movement. 

“No one.” 

“Carlos then.” 

“I know how Evan feels now,” he muttered. 

“You’re right. This dress is great. Is the red too bold though?” 

“No, I think it’s a good color for you.” 

“Alright, good.” She pulled back into the dressing room, snapping the curtain shut. 

**TK: It’s good, reminds me a lot of home. Not appearance wise, but it’s got that same hectic feel New York always did**

**Carlos: I don’t think I caught exactly what you’re doing there? Visiting family?**

**TK: Close. I’m visiting my best friend. His sister and I were sort of worried about him, so she flew me out here to check on him**

**TK: I do have a bit in Santa Monica tho, so it’s plausible**

**Carlos: So you do have friends? Kinda hard to get to know you sometimes.**

TK winced. But he supposed he deserved that, every attempt Carlos had made he shot down and now he was hitting him up out of the blue. It wasn’t fair, and he should explain but he wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to say; ‘Hi I want to be your friend because I like you but I suck at being an adult about my romantic feelings apparently. Oh? How did I come to this conclusion you may ask? My ex boyfriend's sister told me so.’ He had a pretty good feeling that wouldn’t go over well. Especially not over text. 

Maddie popped back out again. This time in a black sweater dress. She spoke before he could. “I feel like this one is too plain.” 

“I mean, on its own, yes. But there are so many ways to dress it up. Plus you’re the one who is always complaining that you don’t have enough everyday dresses. That is perfect for everyday. Throw any jacket on, jewelry or anything and bam. Does this make me your favorite gay best friend?” He asked as he was throwing out this advice noticing a teen girl eyeing him. 

She looked at her friend disappointed, but he was relieved that he didn’t have to interact with them at all. Maddie followed his gaze and laughed quietly. “Yes, you are.” She walked away. “Last dress coming out next!” She called. “I decided the one I looked like a cow in didn’t need to be seen ever again.” 

He nodded to himself. Pulling out his phone to reply to Carlos. 

**TK: Yeah I do have friends. Don’t know how sometimes. Because I’m awfully rude to people who are nothing but nice to me. Especially cute cops who take multiple chances on me**

**Carlos: What do you want from all of this TK?**

**TK: I want to make it up to you**

**TK: I was an asshole and I’m sorry**

**TK: I kind of suck at the friendship part of relationships. But I’d like to try and be your friend**

**TK: Not in a friendzone way, but because I want to be your friend first. Then see where it goes from there.**

**Carlos: I think we can manage that**

He felt himself beaming. 

**TK: I’m glad. Because I’d really like that**

**TK: I have to go, I’m out with Maddie right now (Evan’s- my best friend-sister) but I just wanted to get that out of the way. I figured it couldn’t wait.**

**Carlos: Talk to you soon**

Maddie came out in her final dress. It was shimmery gold, and hugged her in the right places. She looked stunning in it. “Maddie if you don’t get that I swear to god.” He told her. 

“I have no place to wear something like this too.”

“Find someplace. You look amazing.” She gave him a look. “I’m serious, find an event for this because you look drop dead in this dress.” 

“Fine. I’ll figure something out. Because you’re right, I do look really nice.” He laughed as she spun in the mirror smiling to herself. 

Finally she was changed out of the dresses and back into her clothes, and they were at the register paying. “So what did you and your cop talk about?” She asked casually. 

“I told him that I want to try and be his friend. That I wasn’t trying to friendzone him, but that I’ve always been bad at that part and I figured I should try with him.” 

“That’s amazing love. What did he say?” 

“He told me he’d like that.” 

“It’s all going to work out T, I promise. I’m really proud of you.” She said pressing a kiss to the side of his head. 

“As friends, when I go home. Do I tell him that the best friend I was visiting happens to be an ex boyfriend?” He asked. 

“I think that relationships are based on honesty. If he wasn’t someone you were interested in dating would you even worry about letting your past with Buck be known?” 

“No I guess I wouldn’t.” 

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. Obviously it’s your story to tell. I know it’s got to be difficult to want to be open watching Ev go through the whole mess with Eddie finding out right now.” She sighed. 

“That’s a different situation. For starters Eddie and him are going through a whole mess of sexuality. I know that. It’s just when I told Alex, he got so weird about it. I don’t want to make it weird for anyone, because I never want the risk of someone telling me not to see Evan. But I will always choose his friendship first.” 

“And he’ll always choose your friendship first too.” She replied firmly. 

“I’ll tell him. It’ll be a good test of if our friendship can go anywhere near a relationship.” TK finally confirmed. “Okay so can we finally talk about that whole Eddie thing because,” he started drawing out the word. 

She quickly paid for the dresses. And the second they stepped out of the store she was launching into a rant. “Eddie and Evan have this insane notion that the other one is just not into them. Or they come up with a thousand reasons on why not. Every single time it seems like they’re getting close, something new happens. It’s quite frankly exhausting to watch. For a while it made sense.” 

“But now it just seems like they’re afraid?” 

“Exactly! Like when Shannon came back it was painful to watch Buck go through that. And then she died, and he insisted on being a good guy. He told me one night that even if he wanted something to happen he needed Eddie to take the lead, he was the one who lost his wife, and had a kid riding on the line. It seemed like he was going to. Then the tsunami happened. They could have gotten past it, but then the lawsuit happened. Now they’ve been dancing around each other yet again. Both of them are too afraid to make the first move. Then I flew you out, and now they’re fighting again. But it’s good because I think maybe this will finally shove them into being fully honest with each other.” TK nodded at her words. 

There was no way for Evan to be fully honest with Eddie without talking about their college years. And he knew that there was no way he was going to do that if their coffee night went poorly. He wasn’t sure he had enough faith in Eddie to not put his foot in his mouth with how jealous he was of TK. He resolved himself to just telling Eddie the start of it if he had to. He had to do that for Evan, so that he could get the happiness he deserved. 

+++ 

Buck wasn’t sure why he was so on edge. It felt like the second he started opening up again to Tyler that night now everything was on the surface ready to come out. He had just never let it before, so it was spewing out in the worst ways. It was why he was trying hard to keep the lid on it for the team. They didn’t need to see him like this, no one did really. He never wanted that. 

He had been getting looks from all of them between calls all day. Whenever they thought he wasn’t looking. He knew it was his fault for snapping at Hen. And he really was okay with Bobby telling them, it didn’t make it easy to deal with the pity. He wanted to snap. Say that it didn’t change anything. Everything Eddie had said before breakfast was sticking with him however. Logically he knew Eddie probably meant it, that he was there for him. Hearing everything he had to say however, it hurt. 

The childish part of him just wished he could go back and erase what had been said. But he wasn’t even sure what to erase to fix the whole situation. It felt like it was all out of his hands. Bobby had recommended therapy that morning, and Buck told him yes. Even though it felt like admitting defeat. He just wanted to go home and sleep, but at the same time he knew he wouldn’t be able to. This would be the type of night he would be out of the house running until the early hours of the morning. Which he couldn’t do with Tyler hanging around. 

“You still bringing TK over later for drinks?” Eddie asked him. As they unloaded the truck back into the station from their last call. It had been medical and honestly Buck didn’t remember much of it, just that he didn’t play a big part. 

“Oh, yeah totally.” He agreed. 

Eddie gave him a look. Probably having seen through the answer to the fact that Buck had nearly forgotten. “And don’t worry by drinks I mean purely non alcoholic. I remembered.” He flashed Buck a bright smile. 

Without thinking Buck threw his arms around him, not caring that they were in the middle of the station or about the looks they were getting. “Thank you.” He told him seriously. 

Eddie brought his arms around him holding on tight. Not letting go even though his tone was confused. “For buying drinks?” 

“Nah, for trying I guess. I don’t know. I kinda sprung a shitload of crap onto you, and you’re just trying. It means a lot to me.” 

“You’re my best friend Buck. You mean the world to me,” he hastily continued. Tripping over his words a bit. “A-and Chris. You’re family Buck.” 

Buck finally released him pulling back. “Yeah, I know. You guys mean the world to me too. Is he gonna be around tonight? I miss him. Plus I think Ty would like the chance to meet him officially. I talk about him nonstop.” 

Eddie looked surprised. “You do?” Buck nodded. “Yeah he’ll be around. Figure if you don’t mind you could read him a story tonight?” 

“Why wouldn’t I talk about him? I mean I know you guys don’t know a lot about Tyler which is entirely my fault. I don’t talk about my past a lot, and he’s in a lot of it. But you and Chris are my-” he had to stop himself from saying  _ his future.  _ “You guys are my family. Always want the chance to brag about superman.” 

“I think Chris will be excited to really meet him. He always wants more stories about his Bucky. He loves the ones Maddie tells.” 

“Well don’t worry Tyler has just as many embarrassing ones. Although some of them are slightly less child appropriate.” He winced as he saw Eddie’s face fall slightly. “Not because of like, I just mean.” 

“It’s fine I get it Buck,” Eddie told him tightly. 

“I don’t think you actually do.” 

“You two are exes, not all of my Shannon stories are safe for work either.” 

“That’s not it.” He snapped. Eddie shot him a look, eyebrows raised. “Listen I didn’t make a lot of good decisions in college. I wasn’t really the best person.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means that-” They were cut off by the bell going off again. An actual fire at an apartment building. They both ran to get their turnout gear on, ending the conversation there. 

Eddie shot him a look to say that it wasn’t over, but he just shrugged. He wasn’t having it in their present company, and he honestly wasn’t sure how to start it without talking about Tyler’s addiction. And how it subsequently led to more of his own issues with drugs. 

So instead he avoided Eddie’s eyes in the truck, and jumped straight into the call when they got to the building. Happy to be out of his own head and of use. Bobby told him and Eddie to clear the building, and they went on their way. 

“You gonna tell me what that meant?” He asked, before they went in. 

“Not the time Eddie.” Was all he said before they made their way in. 

It took a bit before the building was officially cleared, and he was out with a few of the tenants. Eddie was right behind him, carrying a woman who had passed out. Hen and Chim ran up taking her immediately. Buck walked over to Bobby. 

“You gonna tell me what the tension between you and Eddie right now is?” He asked and Buck sighed. 

“You heard what he said this morning right?” Buck asked. Bobby sighed. 

“Kid you are the only person who wasn’t supposed to hear what he said.” 

“But he still said it.” 

“You know he has a habit of saying things out of frustration.”

“Yeah. Well, I have to tell him more about my past. I just don’t know how many more frustrated outbursts I can handle honestly.” 

“It’s because he cares about you so much.” Bobby reminded him. 

“I know. You all care and you’re all here for me. I get it.”

“You just don’t get why.” He said knowingly. 

Buck’s gaze shot up to Bobby. Shocked that he seemed to know exactly what he was feeling. “Something like that.” 

“Kid I don’t know if you remember. But it’s not just you that needs help sometimes. Asking you and Hen for help that day was hard for me. But I was able to do it because I know you guys are there for me.” 

Buck felt his eyes widen slightly. It wasn’t often, if ever. That Bobby mentioned that day. “Of course we’re here for you Bobby you’re family.” 

“That’s how we all feel about you.”

“Thank you.”

“I made the recommendation to the department's therapists. There’s either an opening next week with Mirabelle, or in two weeks with Frank. I wasn’t sure how you would feel seeing a woman after everything that happened. So I figured I would ask you.” Bobby said, and Buck felt his heart clench. 

“That means a lot. I think seeing a woman will be okay. My therapist in college was a woman. Plus I’m not really sure that I want to see Maddie and Eddie’s therapist. It feels weirdly like a conflict of interests. I want them to be able to have that, without ever worrying in the back of their head about the fact that we all see him.” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder. 

“I’m really proud of you son. And I don’t think anything will happen either, but if it does. You’ll let me know?” He asked and Buck nodded. 

It had taken him a while before he had revealed what went down in the office that day to Bobby. Who had a fit, yelling about her taking advantage, malpractice, and a whole slew of other things. All before he put in a call to her boss to get her fired. He felt awful about it at first, until a talk with Athena where she told him that she deserved to lose her license. Not just her place with the department. She explained to him that just because he thought that maybe he wasn’t good for anything else at that point didn’t mean he wasn’t. It was her job to help, and she did it wrong. 

He leaned into Bobby’s side. Soon enough they were ready to head back to the station. From there, it was basic cleaning and then all too quick their shift was on it’s last leg. Which is when Tyler and Maddie made their way up the loft stairs. 

“Hello, hello. I came to drop someone off, and say hello to my boyfriend.” She announced. Pressing a kiss to Chim’s lips where he ran to meet her on the stairs. 

“Hey Maddie, you know you’re always welcome around here. Hello again TK.” Bobby said coming out of the kitchen to greet the duo. 

“You know, how come Karen never drops by?” Chim asked. 

“What do you mean?” Hen asked him. 

“I just mean, Maddie comes by, so does Athena. Carla brings Chris. Now Buck has a friend stopping over. Why does Karen never just drop by to see us?” He asked. 

“Because we have lives?” Hen offered. 

“Ouch!” Buck yelled. Walking over to tug Tyler into the room after giving a quick hug to Maddie. 

“To be fair I wouldn’t come bother Buck around here if I didn’t need him for a ride.” Tyler said.

“See he gets it!” Hen yelled. “I feel like I’ve gotten the least amount of time with you. Apparently you got to make quite the impression on Chim, and Bobby this weekend.” She added. 

“That’s not true. He’s hardly met Eddie.” Buck pointed out. 

“Uh yeah, but you guys are literally all going there next. Buck, why don’t you go shower, I’ll keep TK here company.” She told him brightly. Tyler nodded to let him know it was okay. 

“Uh sure. Eddie are you coming?” He asked, earning a look from everyone around him. “Or are you gonna shower at home? I mean normally I don’t care. But Ty is kind of a guest, so.” 

“Yeah I’m coming.” 

+++

TK had weirdly high hopes for the evening. He still expected Eddie to put his foot in his mouth sure, but he realized it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Carlos had sent him a pretty decent stream of messages throughout the day. And if he got butterflies from some of them, that was his business. But the whole ordeal had made him realize if that was how Evan felt about Eddie they would be fine. He just had to be on his best behavior, and not provoke the older man into an argument. Which he had maybe been thinking about doing for a bit. The thought had passed as soon as he was in the car with Evan however. 

“I told Bobby I would go to therapy.” Was the first thing he had said. 

“Wait seriously?” He asked. Evan nodded, throwing the car into drive eyes on the road ahead. “That’s amazing, I’m really proud of you. I think it’ll be really good for you.” 

“Isn’t this what you and Maddie had in mind with you coming up?” 

“No. What we had in mind was making sure you were okay. You are taking these steps, that’s all on you Evan. I’m really happy for you.” He put his hand on Ev’s thigh and squeezed. 

“I let Bobby tell the team about what happened with my dad. It’s a lot. This whole thing is just a lot. I guess I can’t keep pretending like I don’t have problems.” 

“Everyone has problems. I’m proud of you for realizing that you should choose a healthy way to deal with yours.” 

“I started to tell Eddie earlier. I don’t even know exactly what. I just told him that I didn’t always make the best decisions. Then I realized I don’t even know how to get into it all.” 

“For starters you know you have my permission to talk about the part I played in it.” TK reminded him. They had both given each other the permission to talk about stuff like that with the people they trusted. TK did, Evan however. 

“I don’t know how.” 

“You just open your mouth and say it. Simple as that. ” 

“Not as simple as you might think.” 

“Oh come on, I know he’s important to you. But you don't need to overthink this. Just treat him like anyone else and-” 

“I’ve never said it to anyone!” He yelled. TK blinked back in surprise. 

“I thought Abby?” He said stupidly. He knew that Abby knew who he was. That Evan had told her that much, he had met her through facetime once or twice. 

“No. I mean yeah we talked about you. But most of what we talked about was her life honestly. What she was going through with her mom.” 

“What about Ali?” 

“Most of that relationship was pretty long distance. There was never a good time to bring it up.” He deflected. 

“Evan, are you telling me that in the past what, five years you haven’t talked about it?” He asked. He knew he sounded angry, but honestly he couldn’t believe how much he had let Evan bury things under the impression he was dealing. 

“I talked about it when I was in South America.” He said awkwardly. 

“Are you serious.” 

“I talk about it sometimes with Maddie. But I don’t really like to. I mean she left Tyler, she told me she couldn’t be there for me anymore and she left.” He reminded him. TK felt bad. He remembered how crushed Evan was, he had fallen off the wagon again. Then there was Maddie saying that her and Doug were leaving and he needed to get his head on straight because she wasn’t going to be around to dig him out anymore. 

“Ev,” he whispered. 

“It’s fine.” 

“No. It really isn’t.” 

“What do you want me to do Tyler? Just waltz up to Eddie and say ‘hey I know you think my problems are exhausting but can I just add on the fact that I used to do drugs when I was in college. I fucked off to South America because I realized I couldn’t save the love of my life and myself. When I came back it seemed like everyone was just fucking fine, so I decided to be fine too. But everything isn’t actually fine. Please trust me around your son still?’ Because I really don’t think that’ll go over very well.” He yelled. Before he could reply they were pulling up to a familiar house parking on the street. 

“I think that he’ll understand more than you’re giving him credit for. Plus if it’ll make it easier I can tell him some of my side. So that you don’t have to.” He offered. 

Evan took his hand tightly, pressing his forehead into the steering wheel. “I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“Evan Parker, look at me.” Ev’s eyes shot up to meet his. “You have been carrying this around for so long, I don’t think you know how to put it down anywhere. If I can help you do that just by being someone who knows the story, and is willing to share. Then I am damn sure going to do it. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve the chance to be happy with him.” 

“I just can’t stand the thought that he might look at me different once he knows.” 

“I think he’s going to see the person I see.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Let’s go in. I want to meet Christopher. You never shut up about that kid. He sounds great.” The mention of Chris seemed to do the trick because Evan’s whole demeanor changed. It got lighter, and he started filling TK in on random facts about the child as they got out of the car and walked towards the door. 

They knocked but then walked right in. Not bothering to wait to be let in. It was awfully telling to TK that Evan didn’t even question the idea that he was so welcome in their home. That he was just a part of them that belonged. 

He got to watch as the child, Christopher, who looked an awful lot like all of his photos. Launched himself straight at Evan with no doubt that he would catch him. Which he did. “Hey superman! Buddy, do you remember my friend TK from the other night?” He asked quietly, not walking over to where TK was still lingering by the door. Clearly waiting until Chris was comfortable with the idea. 

Eddie walked over to him. “Hey come in!” He said with slightly forced brightness. “Chris buddy. This is Buck’s friend TK.” He introduced, as Evan put Christopher down. 

TK crouched down to Chris’ level to make his introduction. “Hi bud, it’s nice to meet you. You know Ev talks about his best friend in LA all the time. I’m glad I can finally meet him.” He said with a wink. 

Chris was delighted by this. Laughing brightly. “Silly, daddy is Bucky’s best friend.” He corrected. 

TK put a hand on his chin, looking between Eddie and Chris seriously. “Are you sure? I could have sworn he said you were his best friend.” Chris laughed again. “Oh well silly me. Are you taking care of him? He’s quite the trouble maker you know.” TK told him, which seemed to do the trick. 

“Do you have any stories? Maddie has all of these stories she tells. But she has to tell them in secret because she says they embarrass Bucky.” 

“I have tons of stories about Evan. I’m sure I could tell you a few, even if he’s embarrassed by them.” He looked up shooting a wink to Evan who was rolling his eyes. 

“Not too embarrassing. Superman still needs to like me after this.” TK shot Chris a look. “I’m serious Tyler,” he warned. 

“Why do you call him Tyler if his name is TK?” He asked. 

“It’s kind of like how people call me Buck but my name is actually Evan buddy. Tyler is the name his parents gave him.” 

“Where does the K come from?” 

“Well my full name is Tyler Kennedy. But only my mom and Evan call me that really.” He said. 

“Wow your parents really went there, huh.” Eddie said. 

“You’re one to talk, Edmundo.” Evan teased. The tips of Eddie’s ears turned pink. 

“So, drinks?” He asked, pointing to the kitchen. 

+++

Eddie didn’t let Chris stay up with them long, knowing he had to put him to bed at his actual bedtime or the routine would be messed up all week. “Can Bucky tuck me in?” He asked. Eddie nodded at Buck who raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Sure thing buddy. What book are we reading tonight?” He asked. As he picked Chris up. He leaned him down to let Eddie press a kiss to his curls, and then disappeared down the hall with him. 

Eddie didn’t want to say he was nervous at being left alone with TK, but the night had been going surprisingly well so far. He just wasn’t sure if being left alone with TK would lead to a repeat of the last time. If he also felt this tension, he didn’t let on. His expression was calm and relaxed. Eddie envied him for it honestly. 

The silence dragged on for a moment too long, and Eddie was worried they were going to either sit in total silence while they waited. Which would be awkward as he knew it sometimes took awhile to put Chris down. Or the fear that TK was waiting on him to say something. In which case, he wasn’t sure what to say. 

“So Buck told you no beer huh?” He asked, out of the blue. 

_ What the hell kind of a start to a conversation is that?  _ “Yeah, he said you’re straight edge. I hope the iced tea is okay. He didn’t exactly say what else to get instead.” 

“It’s great.” He replied easily. Finally he lost the easy attitude and looked almost as nervous as Eddie felt. He leaned forward and dropped his volume. “The uh, straight edge thing however. Not quite true. I’m not telling you this because we’ve become such great pals in the last thirty minutes. And I’m not telling you this because I trust you implicitly.”

“Telling me what?”

“I do trust Evan, and his judgement however.” 

“Okay?” Eddie said. He was officially confused. 

“I’m an addict.” TK said plainly.  _ Where the hell did that come from?  _

“Oh well I mean, are you? Uh?” Eddie was pretty sure it wasn’t considered polite to ask a near stranger if they were sober. 

“I’m recovered, sober. But addiction is a part of my past, and it’s a big part of my past with Evan.” TK sighed. “He has saved my life more times than I can count. He has been there for me since we became anything. I’m always going to be there for him as well.  _ I’m always going to be a part of his life.”  _

And yes it was clear enough that Eddie could hear what TK was saying. “So what are you telling me this for?” 

“Because I’m always going to be his best friend. And a part of his story. A story that he needs to tell you, and is having trouble doing so. I’ll let you in on a secret though.” Eddie found himself leaning forward despite himself. “He hasn’t told anyone who wasn’t there through it. So just be patient with him. It’s a lot for him, things he hasn’t talked about in years.”   
“But Abby?” Eddie asked. 

TK laughed. “Yeah, that's what I thought. But apparently not. I told him I would tell you a bit about my part in it, so that he would maybe have an easier time being able to tell you about it all.” 

“Oh.” 

“So do you want to know? Because if just this much is too much to handle then you should probably say something now.” 

“I want to know.” 

“Evan and I met when we were 18. Well just about anyways, the age difference thing doesn’t really matter. We both finally had that freedom of college, which meant a hell of a lot more for him than it had for me. I always had a sort of freedom, my dad wasn’t around because he and my mom divorced. And my mom wasn’t around because of her job. I started doing drugs in high school, it was a habit I dragged into college with me.” 

Eddie found himself feeling guilty for his instant hate of TK. Not just because of the evident sad story he was telling. But just how much he was trying to be open with Eddie because he genuinely had Buck’s best interest at heart. 

“Evan and I started dating pretty fast. We skipped over the whole ‘friends first’ idea. We had met at freshman orientation, hooked up there. Then met again in a class and went out for coffee, and the rest was history. We fell for each other pretty fast. Which is something I do a lot because of, well I guess you could call it an addicts personality.” TK frowned. But then went on. 

“I’m not going to tell you his side in this. But I will tell you that I wasn’t the best influence. Not by a long shot, especially not then. We got codependent. That’s not how we saw it though. We just thought that was what love was supposed to feel like.” He laughed wryly. 

“We went through it a lot. Broke up and got back together a few times. He helped me get clean, called my dad when I overdosed. Checked me into rehab when I did it again. He was the biggest supporter I could have ever asked me for. And he forgave me for everything I’ve ever done. Probably some things I didn’t deserve to be forgiven for honestly.” 

“Why?” Eddie interrupted.

“Why what?” TK asked gently. 

“Why does he always do that? He just forgives everyone for everything. He’s probably the best person I know. I’m not saying you didn’t deserve it,” he rushed to say. Realizing that he probably sounded pretty rude.  _ I just don’t deserve the way he keeps forgiving me.  _

“I don’t know why. I just know I’m forever grateful that he did. And I’m willing to bet that whatever you think you did to him that was so awful you don’t deserve to be forgiven,” TK gave him a look to say he saw through Eddie’s anxiety. “Well let’s just say I’ve probably done it, or worse.” 

“You asked me,” Eddie started. Both of them finally leaned back into their seats. “You asked me if I remembered the stuff I said to him. I didn’t before, but I do now. He thinks that I think those awful things about him but I don’t. And I don’t know how to fix it.” 

“You give him time, and you prove the words wrong. It’s one thing to say that they weren’t the truth. But it’s another to show that they weren’t. Actions speak louder than words, especially to someone like Evan.” TK shrugged a little. “I said some pretty awful shit to him when he checked me into rehab, I spent the next year making it up to him.” 

“You were a field of daisies checking into rehab Ty I don’t know what you mean.” Buck said, walking into the room. Clearly catching the very end of the conversation. 

“Ahh yes, because fields of daisies tell their at the time boyfriends that-” TK started but Buck cut him off. 

“Things that are now irrelevant because they were said in anger, as you were detoxing. We’re past it.” He looked at Eddie. “So he told you?” 

“Some, I left out the juicy good bits about yourself for you two to talk about. Speaking of which, I'm going to the restroom.” TK said, before squeezing Buck’s shoulder leaving the room. 

“So, what do you know?” Buck asked him awkwardly. 

“That you guys fell in love fast, and that TK used during college and high school. Which apparently put a lot of strain on you two.” 

“It wasn’t just Tyler.” 

“What?” 

“I mean, I had a problem with drugs.” His fingers were tapping on the table, normally it annoyed Eddie to no ends, but he didn’t say anything this time. 

“Oh, well are you okay now?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been clean from drugs since I was 23. Except that one time with the LSD at the station. Alcohol I still use as a crutch sometimes, but that was my problem before I met Ty anyways. He uh, he didn’t make me do anything. But he was there, and he was using, and it looked like it helped him. I guess I thought they would help me too. Things got out of hand for the both of us. But I never really got to a point of real addiction I guess? I was more fucked in the head than anything else in college. I was into hard drugs sure, but not pills as much as he was. I don’t know.” 

Eddie stood up walking around the table taking the seat TK had been in right next to Buck. He leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “I want you to know that I’m sober, and that I would never do anything to put Chris in harms way.” He said. 

“I know. I told you, there is no one I trust Chris with more than you. Tell me whenever you’re ready Buck. It’s your past, not mine. I can wait.” He felt Buck nod against his shoulder. 

Weirdly enough he felt like he really could wait. He wanted to know everything, and there was a lot he would be going over as he fell asleep at night. But for once it felt like he could trust he was going to get it all in due time. TK wasn’t being weird about pushing them together. Buck was leaning on him, and trusting him. It felt good. It felt safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thoughts, comments, questions? Next chapter we get a more in depth conversation between Carlos and TK, and a quality Bobby and Buck talk. I also added the slow burn tag because this fic is definitely a slow burn for Buddie! They both have a lot of healing to do before they can jump into a relationship, and they are going to get that healing done! So so so much love <3


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